Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Good day.

It was mommy dear's birthday recently. I was in the city of (kill)joy so I couldn't be there with her to celebrate. But then I had to send her a gift somehow. Daddy dear suggested I arrange to send her flowers at least. Living in the age of the Internet and telecom revolution helped a lot this time!! So I managed to get the no. of a florist in Noida and called him up. After taking down the delivery address and other details, he asked me what kind of flowers I would like to send and what is my "budget". I was not exactly sure of my "budget" so I asked him what options do I have. He said he had bouquets ranging from 1000,2000 and so on. GULP!!! was the only thing I could do at that instance. But then I thought it would be a little embarrassing to tell him my budget now. So I said that would be a little too extravagant and I could do with something half that cost. "Hmm" said the florist and then finally said "OK, that's fine. I'll have the flowers delivered in 30 min.". Wow! That's faster than Pizza Hut, I thought. Then I asked him about the payment. He said I'll have to make an online transfer into some account number he gave me. Shishir helped me make the payment (I sincerely thank him for that) and Mommy dear got the flowers in the promised time. The flowers really surprised her, and very pleasantly too !! And I felt good... All this strangely reminded me of the Master Card ad

Flowers for Mom- 550 bucks, Birthday Card - 100 bucks, Sparkle Pen - 40 bucks, Courier charges - 160 bucks.

Smile on Mom's face - PRICELESS !!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My affinity with the City of (Kill)Joy

Its been a long standing association. Not that I've enjoyed any of it but it has been there for so long that I can't ignore it. The problem starts with the fact that mommy dear has been born and brought up in and around the city (she's not a Bengali!). There were days I was dragged along to my grandparents' place every summer vacation. So while other kids looked forward to enjoying their vacations, I actually dreaded them. I absolutely hated the dirt, pollution, weather, crowd, local trains, and what not(I still do!!). The days mommy dear decided to take me along as she went for shopping in Bada Bazaar (or Sada Bazaar as I used to call it, for it really is one of the dirtiest places known to mankind, or me at least) are some of the worst days of my life. True, I liked places like Nehru Children's Museum, Science City, Alipore Zoo, Birla Planetarium and ride in a Metro (it was one of the few places having escalators back then!). But they could hardly make up for the discomfort I had to undergo to reach them. Imagine a 5 year old being crushed on all sides while holding his mommy's hands and trying to get on a local train. Man, that was agony at its worst.

Then I grew up and mommy dear began to realize it was no use trying to convince me to go to the City of Joy anymore. I got good support on this front from daddy dear as well who shares my detest for his "sasural". He has been to the place only twice in 25 years. Both times he has fallen prey to extreme humidity and pollution resulting in his usually subdued asthma to resurface and ruin the entire trip. So, mommy dear seemed to be the only one protesting as I refused to go along with her. So it had been a nice and quiet 5 years or so without a visit to Kolkata.

And then, I got this goddamned job in this goddamned company which has its corporate headquarters in this goddamned city. So began my trips again. And at alarmingly regular intervals!! As much as I wanted to stay a million miles away, I had to come back to the place again and again. I've visited the city more in the last one year than I had over the past 22 years. Thank goodness the company guest house is in Salt Lake which seems  like a nicer and quieter and less polluted place than the rest of Kolkata which is more or less a complete mess. Here's more...until yesterday I was under the impression that my office was about 15 km. from the guest house because it always took almost an hour  to reach there no matter what the mode of transport was. But that was before today when I glanced on the meter in the taxi as  I was paying the driver after reaching office. And boy was I amazed...it read 7.0 km...I thought something must be wrong so I asked the driver. He conformed that the reading was indeed true. I guess you can imagine my shock as I'm used to reaching office in Delhi from home in Noida in about 35 min. during peak hours and its a good 25km. away. Need I say more??

The thing that keeps me going is the fact that I have a few friends who always spare some time to hang out and I don't really get bored after office and on weekends. I also have a lot of relatives here (remember its my "nanihal") so I can go to their place whenever I want have some good old daal chawal and alu gobhi...

Will continue narrating my other experiences in the city in the coming days. And by the way, I'm scheduled to be back to Noida this Sunday but I might just stay back for Haman's wedding on the 2nd of December. Hope to see you all then...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The mother of all K*PD's

Well, here I am in Kolkata spending a major part of Sweet November, all set to miss mommy dear's birthday and a few weddings, feeling really low, eating some trashy and lot of junk food, the worst part being, I don't even know what exactly I am here for !!! At least I have family and a few friends here so not feeling as bored as I initially thought I would.

So, last evening I called up good friend Nihit and we decided to meet up, the meeting place being Salt Lake City Center as its close to both our offices. We discussed about how our movie collections had soared phenomenally in the past few months, how Nihit felt lonely in Kolkata as most of boys had moved to Delhi, about the lack of quality chics in our offices. There also was this girl who looked like Manchester from behind, but a side profile confirmed she wasn't really her. Although Nihit told me that recent updates on her suggest that she's become a "heroine". Then feeling really hungry, we went to this Food Court, had some good Chinese food, chatted for a while and then returned to the parking lot after taking a paan. Just as we reached there, we saw 2 bikes with familiar looking reg. numbers standing side by side, one being silver Unicorn and other a blue Fiero. The Unicorn had Delhi no. and the Fiero had Kolkata no. Our first thought was that the Unicorn belonged to a junior, either JD or Viggy. But then, Viggy rode a blue one and what would either of them bring their bike in Kolkata for anyway. So we set our minds on the Fiero. Nihit suggested it might be Addy's bike. Then I remembered Addy actually had brought his bike from home during the final year, and it really was a blue Fiero with a Kolkata no. Nihit happened to have Addy's no. in his phonebook so he dialed it to just confirm. But Addy's cell was switched off.

In the mean time, a group came to the parking lot and they were standing right beside us discussing something and laughing and cracking jokes. Nihit and I continued to discuss possibilities about who the bike owner might be and I sat on the bike to rest my butt. All this continued for a while. Then a burly woman from the group came right up to us and pointed towards the bike. I thought she was looking for some other bike but then she pointed to the Fiero again as if saying "haan na re bhau...yahi hai...ab uthega ki dun ek ulte haath ka". And going by her looks, I knew she meant exactly that. She was almost as tall as me, weighed at least 25-30 kgs more and looked like a biker gang stud minus the leather jacket and sunglasses.

As Nihit and I stood there in stunned silence (the K*PD moment !!!), the stud rode away on the bike with 2 more studs riding pillion. And boy it was laugh riot after that...we didn't know what to say after that. Just a few co-incidences to fuel our imaginations maybe. But it was good fun in the end...nice food...remembering old times...a few nice chics around...and the grand finale...the K*PD !!!

(We even thought of putting our visting cards in the bike's visor so that whenever the bike owner came back, he could contact us. But we didn't have our cards with us at that time. So i had another idea. Why not put one of our passport size pics, that would be even better. But sanity prevailed and restrained us from doing anything silly like that or we would have had a lot of explaining to do to the STUDDD !!!)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The list I've been waiting for so long to compile....

  People compile lists of all time best movies, songs, guitar solos, music videos, cricket innings etc etc. I decided to compile a list of my own as well. Its about something I've been almost obsessed with since we first got a proper internet connection on our own computers (around BE 3rd yr). Its about CHICS !!! Yes, about movie stars, models, sportspersons, musicians who happen to be female, and of course, dazzlingly beautiful...so here goes...not in any particular order...

  1. Jennifer Hawkins - Donald Trump once famously termed this "thunder from down under" as "the most beautiful Miss Universe I have seen in many, many years". I conform. Fullwalls.blogspot.com_Jennifer_Hawkins8
  2. Kate Beckinsale - One lucky doode that Len Wiseman is. Being paid millions to direct Bruce Willis in Live Free or Die hard and also getting to go back home to one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood is no mean achievement. I'm jealous !!kate beckinsale HQ whitecross prem 2 
  3. Kelly Hu - She happens to be my first real Hollywood crush. The first and only film I liked her in was The Scorpion King, where in she decided to appear all wet and topless with just her beautiful long hair covering her assets. Damn that was hottt...and my love for her has remained undiminished ever since.                                                                                        hn-kelly-hu-prostreet-2
  4. Elena Dementieva - People like Maria Sharapova or Anna Kournikova for how sexy they look on and off the tennis court. My choice happens to be another Russian tennis babe who might not be all sexy and hot like other two. Instead she really is a demure classical beauty, which is more of my type !!                                                                   elena-dementieva
  5. Megan Fox - It would be false to claim that I watched Transformers for the Autobot's. The truth is I watched it just for that scene where Miss Fox leans over on the hood of Shia LeBouf's car after it stalls in the middle of nowhere. Man that was absolutely irresistible. And I seriously cant wait to watch How to Lose Friends & Alienate People and exclusively that scene where she comes out of the swimming pool. This chic sure knows how catch a guy's attention. megan_fox4
  6. Adriana Lima - Absolutely Bewitching Eyes. She's another Victoria's Secret model. She's one of the top earning models in the world and indeed deserves to be so.Do I need to say more? 2106509486e842ae0a19bom2
  7. Abigail Clancy - She certainly tops my list of most beautiful EPL WAG's. Lucky doode, that Peter Crouch !!! And like many other ladies on the list, she possesses the killer eyes that can haunt your dreams forever.                                                       abigail36
  8. Eva Green - Psycho must be quite ecstatic to see her on my list !!! And there's obviously no denying that her eyes are as enchanting as it could get. Wish we could have seen more of her as Bond girl. Imagine her coming out of the blue ocean in a red bikini...ahhhhhh...... casino-royale-2006-10
  9. Amber Heard - All The Boys Love Mandy Lane. And why wouldn't they? Ok Ok...I know she can't act any better than Katrina Kaif, but boy she looks a million bucks for sure. Truly one of THE sexiest chics on the list. I confess to having watched a couple of really crappy movies just because she was in them, namely Never Back Down and of course, Mandy Lane. never_back_down_movie_image_amber_heard
  10. Ashley Judd - One of my all time favorites again. She has that kind of a warm and nice feeling where you want her to sit in front of you and you just keep looking at her all day long. Haven't seen her in a lot many movies and yet she still holds her own in my list. ashley-771734
  11. Bar Rafaeli - All beautiful women in Hollywood seem to be dating or married already. Another lucky doode, that Leo DiCaprio. This Israeli supermodel seems to have it all - a beautiful face, a perfect body, bewitching eyes and a millionaire boyfriend who showers her with the goodies and doesn't believe in marriage.                                                 oa2nk62911barrefaelispoky3
  12. Elizabeth Banks - Another Hollywood beauty, who seems to have descended straight from the heavens. I first saw her in The 40 Year Old Virgin and had I been in Steve Carell's place, trust me I wouldn't have thought twice before jumping on her in that bathroom scene. And again, Ryan Reynolds made the same mistake by choosing Isla Fisher over her in Definitely, Maybe. Phew, what's wrong with these men??? I'm really looking forward to watching Zack and Miri. fred clause 041107
  13. Paz Vega - This Spanish hottie caught my attention in Spanglish. Although I hated the movie like all other annoying Adam Sandler movies, she cemented her place in my hall of fame with her delicious, warm looks, long dark hair, and that cute Spanish accent. Really loved her in 10 Items or Less.                                                                           23266_Paz_Vega_Piyal_Hosain_Portrai
  14. Heidi Klum - One of my all time favorites. She joins another Victoria's Secret hottie Adriana Lima on the list. Man, this Victoria, whoever she is, seems to have a real good eye just like me. Its a real pity that Heidi's married too, just like so many other hotties on the list.  Heidi locket
  15. Diane Kruger - This German beauty with her goddess like looks has stayed on my mind ever since I watched her in Troy. That monotone pic of her remains one of my all time favorite wallies.                                                                             262260~Diane-Kruger-Posters
  16. Kristanna Loken - A hot chic like her can indeed "terminate" the rising machines with her killer looks. Do I need to say more??                                       kristanna_loken_22_original
  17. Liv Tyler - Ah...another one of my old flames. One of those girls who're not really "hot", yet as beautiful as you can possibly imagine. I confess to not having seen her in many movies - haven't even watched Armageddon to say the truth - but she manages to stay on my mind nevertheless. Really love that little girl like twinkle in her eyes. e-2-122-liv-tyler1
  18. Maggie Quigley - Being complimented by none other than Bruce Willis as being one of the most beautiful women around is no mean feat. And all that after beating the shit out of him in a movie. Plus, she happens to be the only Asian lady on the list. I'd rather Die Hard for this girl than Live Free.                                                               maggie-q-4 
  19. Mila Kunis - She as close to perfection as I can imagine !!! Brown eyes, dark hair, perfect skin - seriously, who would really give a shit about Sarah Marshall if a girl as great as Mila is available.                                                                                   mila-kunis-forgettingprem
  20. Camilla Belle - Haven't seen her much of her really. When a Stranger Calls was real crap, but who cares, Camilla Belle was in it. She looks so innocent and vulnerable you want to rescue her and play cuddly-wuddly with her. I'm not sure if many of you would agree with me on this but that Vertical Horizon song "Everything You Want" from the Final Fantasy video has this girl character who looked a lot like Camilla. When I first watched this video, I thought there has to be a girl on whom the looks of this character are based. And for me, Camilla is the girl. belle151280x1024
  21. The Cruz Siblings - Monica & Penelope - This might come as a surprise to a lot of you, finding Penelope Cruz on my list. Trust me, I wasn't a fan of her either. Until of course she broke up with Tom Cruise. And ever since then, she has blossomed into this charming lady who seems to be getting even more beautiful with age. And that sister Monica of hers is no less a looker, trust me. Not many of you might be acquainted with her I guess. Try running a Google image search for her and you'll realize why she made it to this list.   penelope_cruz_sister_3_big
  22. Sophie Marceau - Another Bond girl on the list. And a French one too. She is like this haunting beauty to me who seems so near yet so far. She has a mystifying effect, her eyes say more than words could ever say. Am I getting a bit too dramatic here? Maybe. But that's the effect she has on me.                                                                   od7lvf4k
  23. Zoey Deschanel - I know many of you would say Zoey who? And again I would recommend a Google image search. I watched some movie of her's on TV a long time back. Frankly I don't even remember the name of the movie, or who else was in it. But I couldn't get Zoey off my mind then. I don't even know what I really like about her. Maybe its those big round eyes that kept coming back to my mind even after I turned off the TV. zooey_deschanel_020

In conclusion, I'd like to dedicate the Franki Valli song "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" to all these pretty ladies who have managed to stay on my mind long enough to inspire me to do this post. And sorry if I missed some. I welcome all suggestions with an open heart !!! Plus soon enough I'll be doing a similar post on on Hindustani Ladies as well...so watch out...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It happens only in INDIA !!!

 

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Recently me, mommy dear and daddy dear took a trip to Saharanpur to visit our relatives over the weekend. On the way, somewhere near Meerut, we passed this place called Khatoli. It was our average Indian small town bustling with bazaars and roadside chaat thelas and more rickshaws and cycles on the road than bikes or cars.

As daddy dear was wrestling his car through the traffic, I was just looking out the window when I noticed this sign board saying ZAHEER SWEETS. Well, nothing wrong with a Mithaiwala advertising his mithai ki dukaan, but take a closer look at the picture and you'll realize there isn't really a mithai ki dukaan under the board at all !! Instead its a desi, open road side shauchalaya !! Add to that a few chhole bhature vendors putting up right outside "ZAHEER SWEETS". Now imagine eating a plate of tasty chhole bhature with the aroma of piss lingering around your nose to make the taste of the chhole even..urgghhhh..!!!

I felt like laughing and puking at the same time. I was a few seconds late in clicking the picture and ZAHEER SWEETS got a little left behind. But then, I said to myself, this is the real charm of India. And I suppose this is how roadside chhole bhature is to be savored after all...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Why only TGIF...why not FDIM ??

Just another thought...only a thought...if there could be TGIF dedicated to Fridays(Thank God It's Friday, for those who don't know what it stands for)...why couldn't there be FDIM?

FDIM as in Fuck Doode Its Monday !!!

I guess guys our age are more terrified of Mondays than they are excited for Fridays. The idea of going back to that wormhole where every other person is out on a mission to crucify you really makes it hard to wake up on a Monday morning and haul your ass to office.
And anyway, i don't have even a half day on Saturdays, let alone an off day. So there isn't really a TGIF for me. But FDIM is a sure shot happening in my life starting every week...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

CBZ Update

My beloved bike recently achieved the 30k milestone without any major glitches. I got the timing chain replaced once and so were the front shocks and rim after an accident. But that’s about the only major repair the bike underwent apart from some cosmetic ones like the front fairing and side panels. My bike has been running exceptionally well of late, the engine having become used to my riding mannerisms (red lining almost every time before up shifting, testing the top speed twice every day while crossing DND flyway, wheelie-ing and burning out when possible etc etc). The best part is that it’s held true to the original CBZ character with a rev-happy engine, super-cool engine growl and a sweet exhaust note. I don’t even mind the excess vibrations. In fact I hate the silky smooth Hondas and Hero Hondas and even the Pulsars lack the feel – vibrations, noise, sheer drama and exhilaration, the ability to make you feel like Valentino Rossi! The CBZ just doesn’t seem to fit in the boring Hero Honda family picture. The new CBZ Xtreme might, but is it even worth having the CBZ tag? Don’t think so. Apart from all that, I just love that ticking sound that comes from the muffler when you shut down the engine after having a good hard ride. And I’m pretty ok with the mileage I achieve after all the hard-revving. The thing I like best is that other bikes might go faster(including JK's P150), but the “feel” (I don’t know what else to call it!) is definitely the one thing that keeps the CBZ a firm favourite for me. I don’t even regret selling my RX-100 anymore.

A few new happenings on this front…

1. My bike’s been touching top speeds of 120kph since the last servicing. Now, I won’t really bet on the accuracy of the speedo readings, but my good friend JK who happens to ride a Pulsar 150 DTSI, says this might well be pretty close to the actual speed. His P150 can’t do any better than 100-105kph (again taking into confidence his speedo readings) and my CBZ beats his P150 hands down on the DND flyway, the tacho needle playing touch-and-go with the red line@9300rpm as the speedo nudges 120kph.

2. I used to have a very stiff riding stance earlier which I thought was good. I used to lean hard onto the handlebar and have a tight grip on the fuel tank with my legs. I thought that was sporty. But this stance actually hurt my back and wrists in the long run. Now I have consciously changed my stance to a more relaxed one with a straighter back and less pressure on the handlebar. And it’s been working wonders for me. No more pain in the back and wrists and much improved handling. I still clutch the fuel tank hard while braking though, coz it makes braking a lot easier and the bike more stable while decelerating.

3. As a result of this change in riding position, I have been able to achieve better cornering speeds as well. I now love to take the exit towards Noida Sector 18 on DND and also the exit towards Sarita Vihar on the Modi Mills Flyover faster than ever before, at times even touching 70kph while taking the “ρ” exit.


In short, as McDonald’s puts it, I’M LOVING IT!!!

Boys are from Mars…Girls are from Venus...a different take...a new perspective...

This has been an age old saying which has withstood the test of times and still holds true. Boys keep saying girls can do this, girls can’t do that and in turn girls keep saying the same to boys. I won’t go into much detail here coz we are all quite familiar with things each of them are good at and things they are not.

I’m here to tell you my own part of the story. This is an incidence which took place recently at my home while I was playing with two kids just about 2 years old and who live in the same apartment building as mine. Well no prizes for guessing one’s a boy (Aryan) and one’s a girl (Samya). So these kids were playing with their toys and I did my part by giving them a few crayons and a pair of rattling magnets.

I first gave the magnets to Samya. She couldn’t understand what to do with it. So I gave one magnet in her hand and took the other one closer so they attract. But quite unexpectedly, she got scared with the rattling sound the magnets made when they stuck and threw the magnet away. I tried once again and after a little coaxing gave her the magnet. Alas, same result, a misguided throw this time missing my face by a millimeter. She just wouldn’t touch the magnet again, as if it was a ball of fire or something. So I gave up and handed her the crayons. She seemed to quite like them and thus began her abstract sketching session (making things that looked like my face, some numbers, and a few freestyle sketches too) which lasted for almost an hour. This girl sure got some creative talent!

But Samya could pick up the crayons only after the mighty Aryan had almost broken half of them into pieces. He thought they were meant to be broken and not make drawings with. So I tried the magnets with him. And guess what, he thought that was the coolest toy he ever had. He left everything else to concentrate on discovering the laws of magnetism. By the time his mom came to drag him back to home, he had already understood how poles attract and repel. He discovered that the magnets could also stick to door and window frames, the fridge and also the fridge’s voltage stabilizer (wow, I never tried that!). He even found some nails, a hammer and a pair of pliers under my bed that he could stick the magnet to. I mean, kids are smart, but this smart, I never knew.

The point is, these kids had not seen these things earlier and they did what their instincts made them do. Nothing that they had seen or been taught. Just plain natural INSTINCT!! It made my belief in that phrase even stronger…it’s in the genes, you just can’t help it!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

New Poll...Please VOTE !!!

Hello friends and fellow bloggers...

I got this idea for a poll while biking from office to home today. When exactly do you get most of the ideas for your blog?

I've voted (co-incidentally!) for the 2nd option. You could of course have in mind other places and times. Please feel free to throw any brickbats (as i like to call "comments") at me.

Enjoy...and keep voting!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Back to Pocket Tanks....and i'm loving it !!!!


Pocket tanks was the one thing i used to be really good at while at college. Used to score points by thousands and beat every other person in the hostel. And now i'm back !! With a vengeance.
Downloaded the full 210 bomb pack version recently and i've been bitten by the PT bug since. Every spare minute is now fully utilized by playing a quick game of PT deluxe. Although i haven't been able to score points like i used to but i feel i'm still pretty good at it. Besides, i've done the noble task of spreading the PT bug around my office and i now have some pretty good competitors to challenge my undisputed PT champ title. My good friend JK and i have had some interesting duels in recent times and he's almost as good as me now (at times even better !!)

I've now decided to take up the task of coaching and extend my knowledge and skill to aspiring PT'ers. Hope i'm as good at this as i am at playing myself...

LONG LIVE THE DEVELOPERS OF POCKET TANKS-THE GREATEST GAME THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN !!

Friday, September 5, 2008

I hate women's tennis...

Not less than 6 women’s tennis players were in contention for the top spot in the rankings at the start of the US Open. 2 of them have fallen on the way, 4 still remain in the hunt by reaching the semi-finals. I don’t know what to call this - solid competition between the ladies, or simply the lack of consistency in any of them!!

I’ve been a keen follower of tennis since the days of Michael Chang, Pistol Pete, Jim Courier, Stefan Edberg n all…Those were days when you expected the top 4 seeds to reach the semi-finals of every grand slam and make worth every penny their supporters paid to watch them. These were the masters of the game and other players seemed mere spectators playing against them. Men’s tennis is still ruled by such masters as Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic and it’s nice to see one of them picking up the crown at the grand slams.

But what I’m talking about here is not men’s, but women’s tennis. They had their share of champions too. Martina Navratilova, Steffi Graf, Monica Seles and later Martina Hingis, the Williams sisters and Justin Henin have all shown to the world how dominating they can be. But the story seems to be going in some other unknown direction now, at least to me. The WTA rankings have been more or less made a mockery of by the players from Russia and other former soviet nations. This new breed includes players such as Jelena Jankovic, Elena Dementieva, Swetlana Kuznetsova, Ana Ivanovic, Dinara Safina (she seems like the only genuine contender to me), Maria Sharapova, Anastasia Myskina, Daniela Hantuchova and so on and so forth. Try going through the WTA rankings and chances are there would be at least 30 players in top 50 whose name ends with an “ova” or an “ic”. As of date there are only 2 Americans (who else but the Williams’), 2 Serbs (No.1 & 2, the ‘ic’s, Ana and Jelena) and an astonishing 6 Russians in the top 10.

I would like to give full credit to the Russians (and Serbs and Slovaks and Czechs) for creating this super-powerful (Universal Soldiers??) breed of players who have taken the tennis world by storm. No wrong in that. But my point is, what about people like me who want to see class tennis, players who like to serve and volley, who have more style and grace than power, who out-think and out-serve their opponent rather than grinding them with their muscle. It’s almost like watching 2 Energizer bunnies playing from the baseline picking up every shot till they drop dead. No elegance, no grace, no style, just power-packed forehands and two handed backhands from the baseline. And when was the last time the top seeded women reached the semis? Or a lady winning back to back grand slams? Top 3 seeds in the men's draw have made it to the semis on the other hand. The least I demand is a little consistency. Instead what we get to see is the top seed not even making to the quarters in most of the slams. They win one slam and then drop out in the 2nd round in the next. Case in point, Ana Ivanovic (No.1 seed, haha) and Swetlana Kuznetsova (No.4 seed, former champ), both falling at the US Open before someone even noticed. And here’s more…the no.2 seed, Jelena Jankovic hasn’t gone past the semis in a grand slam ever, and Elena Dementieva hasn’t been ranked higher than no.4 in her career and still has shot at the top spot…WOW!!! What a grand mess women’s tennis has become.

The only saving grace has been the Williams sisters yet again battling it out in a slam and giving top notch performances. Yah yah, I know most of you loath them for whatever reasons, but the fact remains that they have managed to stay at the top of the game for almost a decade now when compatriots like Martina Hingis, Justine Henin, Lindsay Davenport and Kim Clijsters have already retired. These Williams girls play only a handful of big tournaments and they win!! I beg you Justin Henin, Kim Clijsters, Martina Hingis…please come out of retirement for our sake and show these Russian chics how tennis was meant to be played and the art of winning Grand Slams!!!

The taste of broadband...at home...in India...


Recently i downloaded the IE 8 using my good old trusted BSNL "broadband" ADSL connection at home. An average download speed of 194KBps is what i got. Not bad for a home user in India i guess...And judging by the feedback friends using other private operators' connection gave to me, i must say BSNL is doing pretty well at least in this department. I have been able to download at least 3-3.5GB data every night courtesy the night (2AM - 8AM) unlimited plan...

Thank you BSNL !!!

I know many friends of mine have connections a zillion times faster than this at their disposal at their offices or in different countries. Hope India catches up soon enough and more home users get access to faster internet connections, at least in the cities.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

My first new cellophone...finally !!!



I recently got a new cell phone for myself after much pestering from friends and family. So in comes the Nokia 5310 Xpress Music phone and out goes the good for mostly nothing Sony Ericsson (referred to as SE henceforth) T610. Initially I was in favor of buying the SE (again!) W580i Walkman phone. But I gave the Nokia brand an edge over SE although I liked the W580i more. Both phones have similar features like a 240*320 screen, a decent camera (2MP), are music oriented, look sleek and stylish, are priced around 10k, and that’s more or less the features I need in a phone. Here’s why I chose 5310 over W580i…
  1. Money. The 5310 cost me at least 1k less.
  2. Memory. The 5310 has a 1GB card while the W580i comes with 512MB.
  3. Slider. W580i is a slider phone which is a strict no-no for me.
  4. Width. The 5310 I suppose is the sleekest Nokia phone available in the market and is definitely a lot thinner than the SE.
  5. Brand. Nokia is to phones what Maruti Suzuki is to cars. Just like you might chose a Swift over a similar priced and similar features Getz, same way I chose a Nokia over a SE.
  6. Experience. It tells me a blind man can use a Nokia phone coz we are so used to it. An SE on the other hand takes eons to get used to (it took me a few months to figure out how to insert numbers while messaging with the T610, and that too by accident).
  7. Looks. The Nokia certainly has an edge in this department and the black and red edition looks simply stunning.
  8. Music. The Nokia has pretty hopeless speakers but sounds real good with the headphones. I won’t say it’s better than the SE though. The Walkman tag on the SE is enough proof of its sound quality. I suppose that’s the only department where the SE beats the Nokia hands on.
But the Nokia does have its share of negatives too…
  1. A super slow-mo camera with no flash. If you’re looking to click a few quick pics, just forget about it coz it takes almost 15 secs to recover from the “shock” of clicking a picture. The picture quality is good only when there’s enough light around.
  2. Screen brightness and contrast not adjustable. My daddy dear has a Nokia 6300 which has a more vibrant display with the same resolution and colors as the 5310, and when I compared the two, my heart almost sank. But I’m getting used to it now.
  3. No search for music. You have to scroll all the way to the song you want to listen to.
  4. No cover provided like the Nokia 6300 making the body (screen in particular) prone to scratches.
  5. FM radio reception is as good as when you’re sitting in a bunker even when you’re out in the open.
And few positives…
  1. Great sound through earphones. I’ve almost stopped listening to my iPod since I got the 5310 and that’s how good it is. The standard Nokia earphones supplied with the phone are simply hopeless. I tried listening to the music with my iPod earphones and the result was pretty encouraging. I’ve since given away the Nokia earphones to someone who can put it to better use.
  2. Fast enough interface. Files stored on the memory can be accessed quickly even when it’s almost full.
  3. Looks real cool and stylish in your hand, partly due to the red and black color scheme and mostly due to the real sleek body. I got an all black edition though.
  4. Has a decent battery life even though some of my friends said otherwise.
So its 4 positives and 5 negatives. But believe me it’s not that bad. I’ve grown really fond of the phone over time and it’s probably the best phone that you can get for 9k, period.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The LP560-4...i'd sell myself to be with you just once...

Another post courtesy of TopGear...Girish Karkera reviews The Lamborrrgeeeeniiiii Gallardo LP560-4...It makes you sit up and damn yourself for having driven everything non-glorious all your life.





There are always heated discussions in the office when it comes to dividing the world. You could divide them as man and woman, or rich and poor, or intelligent and stupid or more ridiculous bits like those who have had sex and those who haven’t or those who have seen the snow and those who haven’t.
So can a man who is rich, intelligent, has had sex (preferably with a woman) and seen snow light up a cigar and declare that he has seen it all? Apparently not.
Because the world is further divided into those who have driven Lamborghini and those who haven’t. And for those who haven’t can’t really blame those who have if they are too distracted from the time they set their hands on the steering wheel to the next morning when the trace ends with a cup of hot coffee.

The LP560-4 is not just a newer Coupe; it’s almost an all-new car. Its faster, more manageable, more refined, more comfortable… well, those last three are relatively speaking. But who cares? It’s noisy, its loud, it’s in your face. It’s a Lambo!!!


Honestly, when driving the LP, the environment is the last thing on your mind. In a way it’s good that Lamborghini takes responsibility for the eco part. Lets you enjoy the more surreal experience of being engulfed in the car, seeing everything blur past you, except every second person on the street rooted to the ground, the kid with his hands on his ears and a wide grin on his face.


Take a look at the interiors. It’s a smasher. Yes, there’s no such word. But what the hell, there’s no such car either.


Now there are cars which are supremely more comfortable, but the LP560-4 treads the thin line between comfortable and sporty (uncomfortable). It’s nothing short of gymnastics getting in and out of the car. Insides are dominated by the huge seats and…err…that’s about it. There’s very little room for anything else. A small storage space behind the seats but nothing much of quantity can you keep there. Books, maybe. But whoever heard of Lambo owners carrying books in their cars?


Like most of its predecessors, the LP560-4 is true to the Lambo spirit. It still evokes childish glee every time you see it. You still want to touch it. You still want to take a chance and flick it around a corner. But only this time there's a better chance you will be alive to tell the story of catching the car by its tail and bringing it in line again. The new Gallardo has matured. The bull may be quiet but the nostrils are still flaring. Don’t let your guard down.


(Just in case you wanted to know what the complicated nomenclature means...
The LP560-4 gets an all-new engine with a total of 560 power strokes (approx. 552bhp). Also, this a mid-engined car (Longitudinale Posteriore) and power goes to all four wheels (4). That should explain it all.)

Why a Lambo is a Lambo afterall...

I was out in the market one evening to get the latest issue of Overdrive. Just as I was flipping through the magazine’s pages after paying for it, this strange looking green colored “3000 bhp issue” of TopGear lying on the stands caught my attention. Being a fan of Jeremy Clarkson already, I couldn’t resist shelling out another 60 bucks for this issue which promised Veyron vs. Koenigsegg and Ferrari vs. Lambo shootouts apart from a road test of the Gallardo LP 560-4.



While exploring the psychology behind two of Italy’s great car makers Ferrari and Lamborghini, I came across some very interesting “expressions” by the writer Michael Harvey concerning Lambo’s heritage. I present here a few excerpts from this article. Talking about the contrast between the two companies, the writer has to say…

Racing provides the contrast. Ferrari has to race. Because racing ties Ferrari history together, the company takes its heritage more seriously than most.

Lamborghini on the other hand are impelled not to race. Lamborghini, you see, don’t measure itself. There is only one absolute about Lambo, which is the mantra to be ‘the most politically incorrect car company in the world’. Lambo’s cars aren’t really about performance, not in the measurable sense of ability to corner or steer faster than the others. They are about sensation and drama. Lambos exist to make a fuss. And if the fuss - noise, rumble, visual drama, acceleration- adds to the weight and detracts from the ability to function as a sports car, then so be it.


Lamborghini’s participation in power boating makes more sense than it would for them to enter F1, because the boats are more brutal, and the people who surround them more a bunch of playboys than technocrats. The ‘sport’ to which Lambo attaches itself is bullfighting. Something to with the noble, the brave, the (that word again) dramatic.


Lamborghini’s brand message remains determinedly at odds with any visible attempt to make the world a better place, other than for the car’s owner. A supercar anyway has to leave you, in a good way, all shook up, and that’s Lambo’s simple message.



Text courtesy: BBC TopGear Vol.3 Issue 10 July 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

When i gave it back to the thhullas !!!! muhauhahahaaa.....

This happens to right be up there on my "happiest moments of my life" list...

One fine day me and my friend JK were on our way to some company in Noida sector 63 for a presentation. As it was raining, i took out my car and gave our bikes some rest.

As we neared the office, there was some waterlogging on the two lane road such that one lane was immersed in water while the other lane was a little drier. Now this police jeep that seemed to be in no hurry was crawling right in front of us in the dry lane. I couldnt overtake him as the other lane was all muddy and watery. I was a little apprehensive about honking behind the jeep at first. But i was getting late. So after some coaxing from my friend JK, i honked a little honk. As expected, the thulla driver refused to acknowledge my honk. So i honked once more. This time too he didnt care to budge.
And then came the moment of reckoning. I dont know what crossed my mind. I decided to overtake the thulla jeep from the wrong side i.e. the watery one. Now as i overtook the jeep, i realized it was an old style open jeep with no side doors and when i made this daring overtaking maneauvre, i splashed the muddy water all over the thulla in the jeep.
OOPS i said and FUCK said JK. We thought we had made the most foolish mistake of our lives and the thulla is obviously going to take his revenge in some way. I waved my hand at the thulla instinctively as if to say sorry and this was not intentional. And you know what, the thulla actually waved back at us as if to say he undertood it was not deliberate. I slowed down my car as a precaution against further damage before completing the overtaking.

Doode, we just laughed our hearts out after that. I even checked my rear view mirror a few times to make sure the thullas weren't following to take revenge. In the end, the incident passed off peacefully. But what a day it was. I guess the thulla would never ever drive that slow in a dry lane lest he wants to get soaked up again...

Gimme a break...

Turn radio on…Pehli nazar mein kaisa jaadu kar diya...NEXT...bas deewangi deewangi deewangi hai...NEXT...masha allah masha allah...NEXT...aankhon mein teri ajab si...NEXT...tum si hi din hota hai...NEXT...mauja hi mauja...NEXT...race saanson ki...NEXT…teri aankhen bhul bhulaiyya…SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...Turn radio OFF !!!

This is how my day begins...I’m fed up of these Delhi radio stations...it’s as if they have this vendetta against me. The more I want to get away from these Om Shanti Om, Saawariya, Race, and Jab We Met songs the more they keep coming back at me. It’s as if they’re trying to mock me in my face for being a lover of good old Hindi songs. What’s wrong with these bloody a-holes? What the fuck are they out to prove? Are they trying to create some sort of world record by playing the same shitty songs over and over and over again? What happened to those good old Lucky Ali, Silk Route, KK and Euphoria songs that we listened to when we were in school? What about the DDLJ, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, Khamoshi songs that we so loved...??? I have nothing against these new songs but doesn’t listening to them at least a million times a day really piss you off??? Gimme a break for god’s sake...i mean, these guys must be having a database of a few thousand songs available at the click of a button. But all they have to play these dhichak dhichak songs all day long. Can’t they just setup a nice random playlist of old and new songs, shuffle it up and let everyone enjoy???

I had this thought in mind...
  • Don’t the music companies feel that since songs from their albums are played all day long on radio, it would hurt the sales of their CDs??
  • Or is it that the radio stations get paid by the music companies to play their songs all through day so that people listen to them and depending on their like or dislike go on and buy the CD??
Well I have no idea how all this works…but in the end what matters to me is that I have completely stopped listening to radio now and the iPod is my only source of auditory pleasure.

The Republic of Michael Phelps !!!!

Beijing 2008 has been witness to some amazing feats of sporting excellence that one can only dream of. The Chinese, after displaying their engineering prowess in setting up what is being hailed as the most spectacular Olympics ever, seem all set to top the medals tally as well. But had it not been for some super humans, the event might have not been as lip-smacking as they are now...

Consider these facts...
  • If Michael Phelps was a nation by himself, he would currently be ranked no.5 on the medals tally. His haul if 8 golds is bettered only by China, US, GBR and Germany. Phelps overall tally of medals is the same as India in its 108 years of participation at the Olympics, although he can safely claim to have won more golds than India. And is it even worth mentioning here that he won 7 of his 8 golds with WR times (one with OR) considering that he already has 32 to his name and he's still 23?
  • Usain 'The Lightning' Bolt won the most watched event of the Olympics with a WR time of 9.69 sec. He was seen glancing back about 15m from the finish line and then arrogantly thumping his chest before smashing his own WR and his competitors' dreams. Video footage showed he had an untied shoelace which could have probably messed up his run. Imagine him not looking back just before the finish and sticking out his neck at the finish line. Who knows the WR time might have been chopped off by another tenth of a second. Who knows...
  • 41 year old Dara Torres, mother of a 2 year old, competed in her 5th Olympics and even more amazingly has won at least one medal at each of the five. She competed for the 1st time in Los Angeles,1984 when i was not even born. This woman of steel has won silver medals in all of three events she competed in at Beijing at times even beating some kids less than half her age.
  • Rafael Nadal just added another feather to his already fluffy cap by winning the gold medal and in the process becoming the first top 5 ranked player ever to win at the Olympics. He also succeeds the illustrious Roger Federer as the world no.1 after holding the no.2 position for 158 weeks.
  • Abhinav Bindra became the 1st ever Indian individual Olympic gold medallist by winning the 10m Air Rifle event and also winning a gold medal for India after 28 years.
I listed here events that i closely followed. There might surely be other feats being achieved that i don't know of much as they are not as highly publicized by the media as these. The Olympics are not over yet. Who knows the Indian boxers bring home more glory as they all look in supreme form. One thing's for sure though. The limits to human endurance as displayed by these athletes are simply mind-boggling and they sure inspire a lot of other sportspersons to go for that little extra that makes one not just a winner, but a great one.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Babel

This Friday, it so happened that my mommy dear decided to use my excellent (and free of cost) chauffeur services to go for rakhi shopping. Having already well spent the first half of the day lazing around and eating and sleeping, i thought it would be nice to get some fresh air as well. So off we were to the nearby Sec-34 market. As we reached there, the mad rush of last minute rakhi buyers like my mommy dear made me really panic. So for my own well being i decided to stay back and wait in the car instead of having my toes crushed by some fat lady's heels.

I switched on the radio after some time. Frankly speaking, there weren't enough good looking ladies around who would have kept my senses on alert. So radio seemed to be the only way to kill time. I switched channels a few times in the hope of getting some nice song. Alas...that was not to be. All i got was an idea of the extent of commercialization radio (FM in particular) had gone through over the years. For some 2 minutes i switched channels and all i got was commercials, commercials and commercials. No music, no RJ, plain and simple advertising. Everything from watches to apparel, cars, apartments, mobile phones, life time prepaid connections, laptops, credit cards, bank loans and what not was on sale!!! I put my cellphone near the speaker and started recording. Listen to the sample...




Finally, i decided enough was enough and i should get back to what i was doing earlier- Star Gazing !!!


PS: Another post on Delhi's FM radio channels is on the way soon...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Independence!!!! Part two…

I was watching MTV this afternoon and suddenly this strange looking music video started playing. I thought the music sounded a bit familiar as if I had heard it sometime somewhere but couldn’t recall. I kept listening for a few seconds. And then it dawned upon me… the realization that this bunch of “rock stars” with drums and guitars was actually playing the national anthem. I mean how worse it could get than this crappy rendition of the piece of poetry that we stood up to in pride every time it was played. These bunch of a-holes actually ripped apart the heart and soul of the anthem and the emotions attached to it by shamelessly singing it like a Led Zeppelin song. Oh what has this world come down to…what we are subjected to in the name of liberalization and freedom of expression…who gave these freaks the right to dishonor the national anthem and play it on TV too…I got the answer after it ended…proudly sponsored by Nokia N-Series and MTV...I’m speechless!!!

Anyway, back to where this post started…why I decided not to attend the flag hoisting ceremony today (apart from the fact that I’m too lazy). Several thoughts come to my mind. What exactly does patriotism mean to me? Is it just the singing of the national anthem once a year while the Tricolor is being unfurled on Independence Day? Is that all I have to do show to everyone that I really am an Indian? To be honest, I don’t think so… even if I didn’t do it; I feel more of an Indian than at least those people in my society who stood in their balconies looking at the Tricolor being hoisted. I could hear someone requesting those guys to at least come to the park for a while rather than witnessing the event from the grandstand. But alas, his plea fell on deaf ears. They did come down though, as soon as the samosas and jalebis were being given out. So I guess I’m better than them in some ways at least by not being …you know… again… I’m speechless…

But what exactly does being an Indian mean to me…is it not helping an accident victim lying on the road who’s crying for help and no one’s interested in getting him to a hospital? Is it not helping an old man cross the road in the heavy traffic? Is not helping with campaigns like Teach India to help every poor child get at least basic education? Can’t it just be helping your mom with her household work for a Sunday to get some load off her mind a bit? Can’t it just be remembering the martyrs of the Independence movement by bowing your head every time you pass the India Gate? Is it not helping keep your country clean by not throwing a wrapper on the road every time you empty a pack of kurkure while driving? Is it not co-operating with the security agencies when they frisk you outside every shopping mall and Cineplex for own safety? Is it not wishing everyone Happy Independence Day by sms at least and not by some silly thing like orkut?

I mean…I could go on and on and on…but what’s the point? I know my reasoning is not flawless and not many of you would agree with me. Mommy told me I have already been branded a traitor to the nation by some of the auntyjis in my society for not coming to the celebration. It’s absolutely none of my concerns of course that those very auntyjis brought along their 20 or so visiting relatives to get their hands on the free Mango Frooty and samosas…
And as so often, it happens again, I’m speechless…

Independence!!!! Part one…

(Note: I decided to split this post in 2 parts coz it was getting a bit too long)


For all you patriots out there, this might come as shocking news. This morning Mother India woke up to celebrate its 61st birthday. But in slight contrast to my countrymen’s zeal to celebrate the occasion, I decided not wake to up at all. I thought wouldn’t it be nice to reclaim my own azaadi too?? My life has been more or less clutched in the same old routine for the past one year or so, or since I got a job, to be precise. The routine looks somewhat like this...


1. Wake up at 7
2. Go to gym

3. Come back by 8

4. Read newspaper

5. Bathe and have breakfast by 9

6. Leave for office (and hope to reach there on time, considering the pain in the arse Delhi traffic has been of late)

7. Work
8. Come back home by 8.30
9. Have dinner

10. Watch some silly program on TV

11. Chat for a while

12. Watch a movie or two

13. Go to sleep

14. Repeat from step 1...


So, as I was saying, I decided to reclaim my azaadi on this auspicious day. Hence I made a slight change to this routine. I simply eliminated the 1st step. Mind you, I said “eliminate”, not “delay”. As my parents went outside to celebrate with other people in the society at around 9, I decided to give the flag hoisting ceremony a miss this time. Mommy dear did her part by not disturbing me at all and letting me R.I.P. Of course she did the mandatory “beta uth jana thodi der mein apne aap” part, but I knew she didn’t mean it, being the caring and loving mother she is. But as it turned out, I took her word a little too seriously and the thodi der she wanted me to wake up in, became the time she came back home (1PM for those of you who care!!!). And shameless as I am, instead of listening to her glass shattering screams (ohhh how people change in a course of just 4 hours!!!) I freshened up and sat down to write this post straight away.

Now some of you would obviously be cursing me for showing this disrespect to the motherland (and my biological mother too) by not watching the Tricolor being hoisted. If you do care to listen to my reasoning for doing so, keep reading…

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Something to cheer about....finally....

Indian Senior Cricket Team after defeating Australia in the finals of the CB Series.



India U-19 Cricket Team after winning the World Cup.



Indian Hockey team after defeating Austria 7-3 in the Olympic qualifiers.

Congrats to the Indian Senior and U-19 cricket teams as well as the Hockey team for putting up some brave performances in recent days. You’ve really done us all proud and as I said, given us something to cheer about finally. The U-19 team should be specially applauded as they showed real spine in beating SA even when defending a meager total. Some real good players like Virat Kohli, Sourav Tiwary, Manish Pandey and Tanmay Srivastav came in the spotlight and might one day play for team India.

Last night I was watching TV and all the news channels had nothing to do but talk cricket. Some even had “experts” like Saba Karim and Nikhil Chopra to provide thoughtful insights on how these teams managed to achieve what they had. Others had Navjot Sidhu to entertain the audience with his witty “Sidhuisms” and brag about the team’s achievements down under.

Sometime in the midst of this program, a member from the audience raised his concern about the players’ performance dipping after they achieve some success initially and then go on a sponsorship deal signing spree. Our dear Navjot Sidhu had some good counter points to throw at the poor chap who finally gave up on his comment and agreed with Sidhu that this was not really the case. Excerpts from his expert comments…

Why is everyone so concerned about cricketers earning that extra bit of money from endorsements? Why do people think that their performances dip when they start doing these commercials? Come to think of it…an average commercial of say 30secs takes about 3-3.5 hours of shooting time. Now, if you watch these commercials 30 times a day, it doesn’t mean that these guys shoot for them 30 times. What’s wrong in taking out a few hours time on a break between tours and earn some money? And its not that these guys endorse 10 or 12 products. The maximum a player has is 5, and his name is Sachin Tendulkar and he just won India a tournament on Australian soil. So this argument that players don’t perform after they endorse products is completely groundless. Another case in sighting is MS Dhoni. Maybe you see him riding bikes one minute and selling hair gel the other, but there’s no denying the fact that he is today being regarded as one of the best captains in the world and the future of Indian cricket. He is soon enough going to take lead of the test team as well. So, a player’s performance doesn’t get affected at all. At the end of the day, he goes back to the nets to practice and gives his best on the field.

Point taken, Sherry Sir!!!

And for all you Sidhu (or rather Sidhuisms) fans out there…a collection of Sidhuisms for you… http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Navjot_Singh_Sidhu

Cricket is the game of glorious uncertainties! Glorious-when Sri Lankans play; Uncertain-when India play!!!

Kab karoge ye sab???





An advertisement for Aviva Life Insurance has been on air for quite some time now. There's this guy who keeps saying on each of his birthday, “I want to open my own bookshop”, “ I want have my own restaurant”, and so on... and his friend, who by the way happens to be none other than Sachin Tendulkar, asks him one such day… “Kab karoge ye sab? Jab cake pe 60 candles hongi?”

Now one day, I receive this courier at home, who gives me a small packet looking like a deck of cards. I try guessing what could be inside. As I open it, some visiting cards with my name on them pop out. And I became a restaurant owner, a bookstore proprietor, a fashion designer and a kid’s play school principal all at the same time. Just in my thoughts though. I added my mobile no. and email-id for added effect before putting up these cards for display. This really is a nice promotion campaign by Aviva...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Movie Quotes v.1.0 : Happiness is only real when shared...

Here’s collection of quotes from two movies I watched recently. Into The Wild and Lord of War. Both of these were real good ones and I thoroughly enjoyed watching them. The movies were provided free of cost courtesy IMT Ghaziabad’s local network. And the quotes I looked up on wikiquote and a few other sites. So here they go…

From Lord of War…

  • They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
  • Of all the weapons in the vast soviet arsenal nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the world’s most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that come vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure; no one was lining up to buy their cars.
  • The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.
  • The first time you sell a gun is a lot like the first time you have sex. You have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, but it is exciting and one way or another it’s over way too fast.
  • There's no problem with living a double life, it is the triple and quadruple lives that get you in the end.
  • You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war, especially with yourself.
  • And here’s my personal favorite…
  • Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.

From Into the Wild…

  • I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.
  • Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
  • If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.
  • The core of man's spirit comes from new experiences.
  • Mr. Franz I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.
  • And my favorite from this one...

Happiness is only real when shared.


I'll continue posting quotes like these from movies I watch in the future as well...and some from ones I've watched in the past...

Monday, March 3, 2008

An afterthought....

I'd like to add a little more to the previous post...

  1. A little consideration for the pedestrians is certainly needed. Drivers have to be taught what a zebra crossing is. If you ask 100 Indians what those white lines are, chances are you’ll get an “I have no clue” response from at least 95 of them. No one seems to know what “stop-look-go” is and most people would run over a pedestrian trying to zebra cross the street and even hurtle a few abuses at him for no real fault of his. All that needs to stop.
  2. A few massive bottlenecks across the city need to be looked at immediately. For e.g. the one at Kalindi Kunj, another one at the Modi Mill Flyover, and another at DND flyway exit towards Ashram. It happens to me everyday. I speed across the DND flyway until I reach that freaking exit only to screech to a grinding halt at the sight of that mother of all traffic jams. It’s really disheartening to waste 20 bucks just to end up wasting half an hour to get out of that mess.

Ok ok…I think I’ve cursed the traffic a lil too much now...time to take a chill pill…and so…I’m off on my bike to take in some cool n fresh night air…

WHY DO I RIDE FAST .....!!!!!

Why do I ride fast? Heck, ask them why do they drive slow? That’s what makes me crazy. What for do people pay taxes? Isn’t it for the government to make good roads so that you can reach office on time without getting stuck up in a traffic jam? People keep cuss about bad roads and poor traffic management in their city. But when the government does make good roads, people drive slow for some inane, incomprehensible reason. You know what, every morning I drive to office, I feel like taking out a T-90 tank and rolling over every vehicle that comes in my way. Nine out of ten times, it’s because of some a**hole deciding to drive well below the speed limit (which happens to be a pathetically, almost crawling, 50kmph) smack in the middle of the road, in neither his lane, nor mine.

I have these dreams. One day I’ll be the Surface Transport Minister of the country. First thing I’d do? Make people understand what those white dotted lines on the roads are meant for. Tell them life on the road would be much easier if they decide to drive in lanes some day in the near future. Indians have this weird tendency to create 4 lanes out of 2, 5 lanes out of 3 and so on. Try going to Noida via the Kalindi Kunj barrage sometime around 8pm on a weekday. You’ll understand exactly what I mean.

I have a few radical solutions in mind. These would of course be applied only when I take over the ministry sometime soon. If these ideas, by any chance, solve Delhi’s traffic woes, I’d try to take them to other states as well (metros in particular). So here I go…

  1. Indians do not understand what lanes are meant for. I’d teach them the hard way. All lanes now would not be marked just by white paint, but by solid steel barriers. This would make people learn to drive in their own freaking lanes without hopping continuously from one to another as if they are playing a video game. But this cannot continue forever. The barriers would be removed from time to time to check if they actually have learnt lane-driving or not. If not, the barriers would be back in place. The finer details of putting up the barriers without causing any major trouble would of course be discussed before implementing the plan.
  2. There would not be an upper speed limit anymore. Instead, there would be lower speed limits. For e.g. If you want to drive not slower than, say, 80kmph, take the right most lane. Any one found to be driving slower than their lane speed limit would of course be prosecuted.
  3. I’ll collaborate with the I&B ministry to make a law that would make it mandatory for mobile phone buyers to purchase a hands-free kit. Mobile phone outlets would be given strict instructions to adhere to the law. It’s really annoying to see a driver riding along at a snail’s pace with his cell phone stuck on his ear and completely oblivious of the agony of the driver behind him and the honking going on.
  4. Driving licenses will not be “sold” anymore, nor would they be distributed like laddu-peda in a langar. I got my driving license after giving a stringent driving test and I want all others to “earn” it the same way. I’d go to the extent of paying surprise visits to the RTO in the midst of these tests. Girls would not be given any special treatment because they seemingly are the biggest hazards to the safety of other drivers. Rarely do I see a lady driving in the proper lane, giving any indicators whatsoever and usually suffocating their car’s engines by driving slower than I can cycle.

I guess if the problem of illegal driving licenses is solved, to an extent all the other problems would take care of themselves.

  1. Although I’d like to completely ban sub-150cc bikes (sub 20BHP bikes would be even better), but since they are good for the environment, easier on the pocket and allows one to move through the traffic faster than a car, I’d rather keep this decision under wraps. But seriously, if riders of 200cc Pulsars and Karizmas don’t dare to move faster than 60kmph, how can you expect someone riding a Splendor to move at 80kmph? Anyway, this problem is also somehow related to the first one. When everyone knows which lane they’re supposed to drive in, I guess there won’t be a need to ban the little creatures.
  2. All auto-rickshaw drivers would literally be shot-at-sight if found driving in a lane not meant for them (read “fast moving lanes”). They are the biggest traffic chokers and a real nuisance on the road. It really kills me to see two auto wallahs battling it out for supremacy on the road, one moving at 30kmph and the other one trying hard to overtake him, although he’s moving no faster than 32kmph. This deadly overtaking maneuver might take a few eons and the process completely disrupts the traffic behind them leading to honks and high blood pressures and in my case, a fit of rage.
  3. Bus-stops oh bus-stops. A Delhiite might give you a dumb look if you say this word in front of him. But it’s not his fault. There really are no bus stops in Delhi. All that the bus drivers do is slam the brakes as soon as they reach a certain point decided by the government, supposedly known as a bus stop. But I warn you, they would not mind giving any sort of an indication that they are about to stop which at times results in hapless cars and bikes crashing behind them and breaking their headlamps. I tell you, these bus drivers are completely immune to all the cursing these helpless drivers throw their way. Try Nehru Place to witness the true fury of the killer blue lines being unleashed. That place is a mess I tell you.

I am going to spend a major part of my budget upgrading the “bus-stops” and providing more space for them so that the buses don’t actually stop on the road.

That’s more than enough for now I guess… the 100cc bike riders would already be waiting to rip me apart for maligning their clan. I know these solutions seem a bit harsh, although I deem them necessary and someday will prove revolutionary. I certainly hope that I become the minister before the 2010 Commonwealth Games so that Delhi presents itself to the world as a truly world class city.

Suggestions and comments are most welcome of course ....