Fashion Shows & Formula 1 (part 1)

A very good friend of mine just shared with us his very interesting point of view on automobile racing. He says,

“Gallons of fuel is burnt during car and bike racing competitions, just to whet the egos of automobile majors.”

Being a huge fan and an arduous follower of both F1 and MotoGP, I couldn’t stop myself from pondering over the thought. For  a moment I thought, ‘Is it really so? The sport that I love so much is actually just about auto-companies throwing away millions of dollars to prove who’s the fastest? Is it just a showcase event where everyone gets to flex their muscle in front of a crowd and gather applause?’ But then, the true blue racing fan inside of me (remember I’m the Adrenaline Junkie) rises from the very depths of my heart and mind to quell any such sentiment that goes against my very identity. The racing fan says, ‘No, can’t be! The likes of Ferrari and Porsche, Mercedes and McLaren, Honda and Toyota, Yamaha and Suzuki, Audi and BMW, Ducati and Jaguar, Ford and Alfa Romeo, Renault and Aston Martin can’t be racing just to whet their egos. You name the best of the auto-companies in the world and chances are they are into some form of racing or the other (Lamborghini seems to be the lone exception, but that’s for completely different reasons). These auto-majors cannot be putting in the best of their engineering and technology and human resource apart from huge amounts of cash into something that trivial, can they? What is it then? I do seem to have an answer.

(You might be wondering what’s a fashion show got to do with racing. Don’t worry, I will come to that later in the article)

Formula One today stands at the pinnacle of all motorsport in every aspect, including technology, difficulty, budgets, competition level, viewership, global reach, and its been so for more than five decades. The world’s best drivers, racing engineers, car designers and engine makers dream of participating in this event. No wonder that F1 today commands a global audience of more than half a billion per race, exceeded only by the Football World Cup and the Olympics, both of which are not annual events unlike F1. Even India has almost 60-70 million dedicated viewers, and that’s when we don’t even have a racetrack or a driver featuring on the F1 calendar! Imagine a Karun Chandhok or an Armaan Ibrahim driving a Force India in the Indian GP, what sort of potential numbers are we looking at?

The eleven F1 teams’ combined budget in 2008 stood at more than $3 billion, a major portion of which is provided by the team sponsors who recognize the event’s advertising potential due to its immense global viewership. Which bring us to the debate – is there a point in spending so much money when it doesn’t concern the common man apart from providing a fun and glamour filled weekend? Does it directly affect us or our automobiles in any way? The answer is – yes, it does.

Formula One also stands at the pinnacle of innovation in automobile design. Technologies like disc brakes, aerodynamics, engine design efficiency, energy recovery systems, turbo/super chargers, all have their origins in racing. For example, Ferrari road cars are designed, manufactured and tested under the same conditions and in the same factory as their F1 cars. Their road cars derive their engines, transmissions, gearboxes, braking systems, suspensions, aerodynamics, wheels, traction control and even their paints directly from their F1 cars. After manufacturing, these road cars are tested by their best racing car drivers on the very same race track as their F1 cars. And its not just the high performance super sports cars for the uber-rich that get the best of the world. These technological breakthroughs eventually trickle down from racing cars to the very passenger cars that common people like you and me drive. And Formula One, apart from speed, also prioritizes safety, cost and energy efficiency. Currently the FIA and manufacturers are discussing adding bio-fuel engines and regenerative braking for the 2011 season. FIA believes F1 must focus on efficiency to stay technologically relevant in the automotive industry as well as keep the public excited about F1 technology. The energy recovery system, or KERS as it is popularly known in F1 (which denied Force India their first ever victory in an F1 race) is a recent example of a technology which I’m sure in few years time would be regularly seen in our road cars. Therefore, saying that all the money spent by F1 teams is just to be the fastest over a weekend race does sound quite unfair to me.

Also, going by the logic that money spent on F1 is a waste, what would you call the Olympics or any such worldwide sporting event where national governments spend billions of dollars to host a 15 day event that does not even provide guarantee that their investment would return? What would you call India’s bid to host the Commonwealth Games even though more than half it’s population lives below poverty line? The reason is that the Games provide a major opportunity for the host city and country to promote and showcase their culture, infrastructure and economic might to the world and hope that it would ultimately raise their own standards of living by luring huge foreign investments.

Besides, would you like to watch a sluggish 80bHP Maruti Wagon-R slugging it out at 80kmph against a sluggisher Hyundai Santro on a racetrack? No, right? You want a roaring 800bHP superfast, super agile Ferrari racing at 320kmph against a super noisy, super powerful McLaren, because that is what gives you the ultimate thrill and adrenaline rush. But all this does require money, millions of it!

The F1 part got a bit long, so I decided to give Fashion its own space…to be continued…

CAT ke Side-Effects

 

 

Now that I've decided to take the plunge…

1. Conversations I have with one and all somehow, in spite of my best efforts, tend to veer towards the dreaded ‘C’ word. This includes parents, relatives, friends, neighbors, family friends, friends’ friends, dad’s friends, mom’s friends, colleagues, colleagues’ friends, classmates at coaching and their friends, people at the gym (yes,them too!) and their friends, etc etc. Even the smirking stationary wale bhaiyya can’t stop himself from saying “CAT de rahe ho…badhia hai…lage raho…”
2. Conversations at the dinner table usually begin and end with dad giving advice on how to prepare better. Undertones like “beta MBA bhi thik se nahi kiya to tera future dark hai” can be clearly picked up.
3. I mostly prepare by giving computer based tests, since CAT has gone online. Which means, contrary to tradition, I spend lesser time with books as I do glued to my computer. This strange way of preparing does not go down well with mom who thinks I should spend more time “studying” rather than wasting my time on the computer.
4. Mom thinks I ought to be studying and doing nothing else with the computer, which she constantly keeps reminding me of. She tends to forget that like any other normal 24 year old I do need to have my daily dose of Facebook/Orkut apart from checking mails, read news online, get updates on EPL and other sports, listen to music, an occasional game of Pool’emUp/Pocket Tanks, a few laps on MotoGP, a once-in-a-while chat with friends, and of course a movie at times. Its a multitasking computer for god’s sake, not an abacus!
5. My TV time has drastically reduced from a few hours per week about 2 months back to a few minutes now, reserved mostly for EPL Super Sundays and F1 races.
6. Believe it or not, I have dreams about ominous numbers with wings and pointy tails spinning over my head and me trying to run away from them. Seems a bit over the top, right?
7. My head’s usually spinning when I wake up in the morning, mostly due to nightmares of not securing admission into a good college.
8. All the tension seems to have caused some sort of hormonal imbalance within my body, leading to a teenager like unusually pimply face. The solution provided by mommy dear is a daily dose of Safi which, I can bet my ass on, tastes worse than horse-shit!

One more thing - my respect for the other 400,000 or so poor souls who appear for the CAT every year has gone up a few notches. God save their and my soul!

images courtesy: rediff.com & cartoonstock.com

MAAAN KAAAN RADION

Travelling singers in India (the ones who sing in trains as they ask for alms) should be delighted. Their messiah/Indian idol/biggest song contributor is back in a new/rediscovered avatar- a fresh crop of "hair", a slightly trimmed beard (could someone hand him a razor please!), a voice "he" thinks is not in the "teraaaan teraaaan teraaaaaaaan surrrooooorrrrr" mode, and as an "actor"(ouch, again??!!). Woefully enough, we humans/radio listeners are subjected to this soul-stirring (brrrr!!) rendition of MAAN KAAN RADION at least a couple of hundred times a day. HR "sings" his composition looking in a somber mood and with a straight/emotionless face (enhanced due to his acting "skills"). The lyrics of course are superlative and need special citation.

At some point HR seems to forget that he's just vowed to keep away from the SUROOOOOOR mode. In other words he really comes into his element.

(I just didn't think this post deserved blogging space, so i decided to put it up on Facebook instead. But as it turns out, Facebook doesn't allow such long status messages!

Besides, no one reads my blog anyway and I absolutely HAD to share this one!)

The Dude in the gym

I’ve been going to this gym for 3 weeks now. Its near my home, cheaper than other “high-society” gyms around, not much crowded, and has a good enough trainer. So its been well worth the money. I haven’t been to a gym in almost 2 years so I'm still getting “in the groove”.

Yesterday was just like another day. I entered the gym at around 7 pm, stretched a bit, sipped some water, plugged in the earphones with Rage Against the Machine going full blast, and was about to begin my workout starting with bench press. Another person was using the bench so I had to wait for my turn. I noticed another gentleman waiting there to use the bench as well. This gentleman (referred to as The Dude hereafter) looked like he was either in the police or some other security force. He was tall, dark, lean with a thinish moustache, and was wearing the track pants and canvas shoes that policemen usually wear off-duty. The person using the bench was done with his sets so I took over, loaded the usual 30kgs, and started my set. I did my 18 reps and moved over so The Dude could use the bench now. The Dude does not change any weights, slips on to the bench and starts doing his set. Now just out of instinct, I started counting how many reps he is doing. So, he does 10…15…20…25… and goes up to 30 before he puts the bar back. “Not bad”, i thought. It was my turn now, so I added another 5kgs and did my set of 15 reps. The Dude’s turn, and yet again he blows me off by not adding any more weight and pulling off another 30 reps. Well, I was obviously surprised as to why he was doing so many reps, and if he does have the stamina or strength to do so, why couldn’t he simply add more weight to the bar and do fewer reps? Wouldn’t that make more sense? It didn’t look like he was trying to reduce any excess flab, nor was it his last set so he was trying to burn it up. So why the hell was he was doing so many reps with less weight? My turn again, i don’t add any weight and do another 12 reps. His turn, and he goes on to do another 25 reps. And now, I was really pissed off! I mean, wouldn’t anyone be? Either he was doing this just to belittle me or he simply had no idea how he should go about doing his workout for maximum gain. So I move over and watch what he does next. And lo and behold, this time he does add another 5 kgs and does another 25. Gosh, is he the terminator or what?!

I move on to my next exercise, the inclined press, and The Dude follows me. I move on to my next exercise, the butterfly, and The Dude follows me. Different times, different places, same story. The Dude wrecks havoc again. By this time I'm barely able to concentrate. I complete the sets with much labour and decide I’ve had enough for the day and decided to skip the rest of my workout.

I know some might point out that I should take motivation from the incident and work harder. But it didn’t really turn out that way. Instead, thanks to The Dude, I’ve decided not to go to the gym in the evening anymore. Even though its tough getting up in the morning, i guess its better than having one’s self-esteem eroded.

Co-incidence? Can’t be…

I was glued to the idiot box this evening and while channel hopping i came across VH1 airing the video of the very popular Daniel Powter song “Bad Day”. I’ve been listening to this song for quite some time now, in fact almost since 2005 when it was released and went on to top a few charts. But i confess to  having watched the music video for the first time this evening  on TV (don’t know how i missed it for so long!).

Now, i guess many of us remember this Ustad Sultan Khan and Shreya Ghoshal song going by the name “Leja Leja Re” which was released around the same time in 2005. I won’t say i really liked the song or not, but at least the music video stays in my memory mostly because every single TV channel used to air it at least a couple of 100 times a day, and it looked pretty decent once i muted the volume!

Now watch the two videos and decide for yourself - which is a copy of which. Its kind of funny actually, but “which video was released first?” The similarities are way too obvious to be cast aside as mere co-incidence! Going by the “reputation” of Indian producers, I guess the Daniel Powter video came out first. And if it actually did, the producer of the Indian version must have absolutely loved it and wasted no time in “being inspired” by it.

Decide for yourself people…

The inspiration behind Bucket List part 2

My Bucket List – 2. Bundesautobahnen

Imagine driving down a highway in your new gleaming black Porsche 911 doing some 220 kmph, feeling like you’re the king of the road. You keep smirking at other ‘lesser mortals’ (read-people with cars that cant go faster than 200!) as you overtake them. You’re having the time of your life, enjoying every bit of it, when you glance at the rear view mirror for a moment. You see a red blob ,somewhere in the distance but approaching fast. You think, ‘who can go faster than my 911?’, and dismiss it with a wave of your hand. But then, you glance back at the mirror out of sheer curiosity. Only this time you can clearly make out that the red blob is a Ferrari 430 getting ominously close to your 911. As you panic and try to gather your thoughts, you hear the 430 swish past you like a ghost and disappearing into the distance ahead. For a moment, your mind goes numb, your palms begin to sweat, you’re too dismayed and horrified to even think, the cockpit of your 911 begins closing in on you dangerously... And then, you realize, you’ve been dethroned! You’re no longer the king of the road. And as if this wasn’t enough, another noisy yellow Lamborghini  Murcielago thunders past your now timid 911.  You can almost imagine the driver now smirking back at you, the lesser mortal.

For those who are not familiar with the term Bundesautobahnen, it literally means - The German Federal Motorway. And what i just described might as well happen to you while driving on an autobahn, of course considering the fact that you’re wealthy and flamboyant enough to drive a 911 (even a 430 or a Murcielago for that matter)!

As Wikipedia correctly points out- German autobahns are sometimes referred to as "the last refuge of the high-speed drivers", since they have no general speed limit, though about 55% of the total length is subject to local and/or conditional limits. But considering that they span almost 12000km across Germany, I’d gladly take the remaining 45% any day. Even the recommended speed limit is 130km/h which of course is not mandatory. Spotting cars and/or bikes doing speeds in excess of 200kmph is not difficult here. You can easily step on the accelerator and test your car’s top speed if traffic conditions permit you to do so. And that is exactly what I(saying this with starry eyes…)intend to do with my Reventón and YZF-R1 as i tick off the 2nd task on my list.

O-bum-a just can’t seem to resist…

Poor Barack Obama just couldn’t help it this one time, as Nicolas Sarkozy smirks on…hahahahahaha…well i forgive him…its completely understandable, isn’t it ??!!

The bum in question here belongs to a 16 year old Brazilian lady named Mayora Tavares who was at the G8 summit in Italy as part of a group of people, aged between 14 and 17, there to discuss how the lives of young people around the world can be improved.

But Sarkozy aint no angel himself, is he??

Source…TOI article

The reality…The EYE opener

My Bucket List – 1. Kailash Mansarovar

Topping my bucket list is a place i know many were and still would be amazed to find on my list.

Kailash Mansarovar, as i earlier wrote (and erased!), is a place that’s amazingly calm and serene. The hardships that one has to face to reach the place make the breathtaking views of Mt. Kailash and the Mansarovar lake even more worthwhile. And i’ve confessed to being an evildoer, so the added incentive of being able to wash away the accumulated sins from all my previous births makes it a place that has to be visited at least once in a lifetime.

Picture courtesy - http://tibet-incense.com/blog/wp-content/images/kailash_manasarovar.jpg

My Bucket List (Prologue)

‘Is it too early to be making such a wish list?’, i ask myself. Wasn’t Jack Nicholson a cancer patient in his seventies and about to die in 3 months when he decided to make his list in The Bucket List.Maybe. Maybe not. There are moments, usually before i go to sleep at night, when i lay down and think…I’ve lived a quarter of a century already, completed 2 degrees, worked for 2 years, made a lot of great friends along the way, gained a lot of weight, began a love-hate relationship with saddi Dilli, watched a ton of movies, started blogging, etc etc etc. But how many moments in my life do i actually wish i could live over again, places i wish i could be to once more, crazy things i wish i could do again? Three, four, five maybe. Is that it? Is that what my life’s been worth so far?

There’s obviously no point lamenting. I can’t change the past. But i can most certainly look forward to a brighter, or rather a more sprightly future. Starting today, i’ll be putting up a list of things i wish to do and places i wish to visit before the bucket eventually gets kicked from under my feet!

HEALTH Q & A SESSION

Everyone might have read this one somewhere sometime. I just  wanted to reiterate the importance of good health…

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.. don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride’

The (mis)adventures of my spectacles

Last week I had to spend almost 4000 bucks to get myself 2 new pairs of spectacles because I had just broken the 8th pair in my life. And this is the first time I got 2 at a time as I seem to have become prone to losing/breaking my spectacles with an alarming regularity of late. So I just want to have a backup pair ready in case another such mishap takes place in the future.

I know most of my friends, family, colleagues and fellow bloggers wear either spectacles or contact lenses. When I look at a group photo of mine, its usually the bespectacled who outnumber the not-so-spectacled ones. I wear specs. Both my parents use reading glasses. Listed fellow bloggers are all certified specs/lens wearers. So are most of the Shanky_PP and SPDSPD (a group of 6,details of which you can find on my Orkut communities page) members. I think its fair enough to say that we would in fact be incomplete without these extensions of our body form. Well, almost.

I've been wearing specs since I was 15 and this piece of blog is dedicated to the numerous specs I've worn over the years, and broken!

Eyeglasses used to be equated with learned and profound men. Over the years, eyeglasses have become more like fashion accessories and don't remain just a medium of visual correction. I, of course, can claim to be neither profound, nor fashionable. I wear eyeglasses for the simple reason that without them I cannot read a book from 3 feet. Yesterday, I had to spend the entire day without my specs as I made the painful mistake of leaving them at home when leaving for office. I cannot insist enough the alleviation I felt when I reached back home and put them atop my nose. Ah, the clarity of vision provided by this noble invention of a noble man is such a blessing for us, the "visually challenged". You know the first thing I treated myself with with my first paycheck? It was a pair of power-sunglasses! I had begged daddy dear to get me a pair of power-sunglasses a number of times earlier. But again, to him its just a piece of fashion accessory and not something that can protect your eyes in the strong sun and wind. And these very power-sunglasses saved me from a certain tragedy yesterday. I could drive back home only because of them. Although I did have to leave office a little early so that I could get back home before dark or I would have looked like a complete jerk wearing sunglasses in the late evening (almost night!).

I'd like to ask people about different ways they've managed to break/crack/pulverize/lose their eyeglasses. I'll list here a few of my own. So, here goes...

1. The easiest one probably - sit on them as lay quietly on the bed/chair/table etc.
2. Hide them safely and forget where you  hid them.
3. Vent your anger on them.
4. Make them fall from an unsafe height.
5. Ride your bike with them hanging by the collar/neck/V of your T-shirt, reach home and find them missing from the collar/neck/V of your T-shirt (this is how I lost my last one!).

Hope this would bring back some life to my blog after an extended hibernation!

I even found this bit of poetry while googling around...

An Ode to Spectacles - by William Cow

Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose-
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.

So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning;
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.

In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear,
And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find
That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.

Then holding the spectacles up to the court-
Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle
As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

Again, would your lordship a moment suppose?
(‘Tis a case that has happened, and may be again)
That the visage or countenance had not a nose;
Pray who would, or could, wear spectacles then?

On the whole it appears- and my argument shows,
With reasoning the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the nose was as plainly intended for them.

Then, shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),
He pleaded again on behalf of the Eyes;
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.

So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but-
That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight- Eyes should be shut.

The consequences of driving SLOWWW....

(I'm back to writing about something I like best - Driving!)

I say consequences because my reasoning might not actually make it clear in the end if it's good or bad to drive slow, although it's purely a matter of choice. And by slow, I mean slow by MY standards, considering that I usually drive in the 70-100kph speed range even in the city. So slow here means in the 50-60kph range, or putting it another way, in the 4-5k rpm range, the usual being 7-9k and redlining before every up-shift. But anyway, here's the reason I've been committing this "act" pretty consistently since about 2 weeks now. My new year's resolution this time has been to-quite unlike me-extract maximum fuel efficiency from  my bike. No, wait, please don't laugh, I'm serious. I know its very much NOT in line with my reputation of being an adrenaline junkie on the road. But these days of recession and the news of an upcoming trucker's strike and petrol pumps going dry has made my resolve even steelier. Apart from that, my bike's engine has been running-again quite unlike it-unusually smooth, thus making it harder for me get the ohhh so yummy vibrations when I rev the hell out of it! The performance hasn't been affected one bit though, so I'm happy anyway.

So let's start by listing out the the advantages-

1. My expletive-meter (while on the road) has gone down a few notches. This is obviously due to the fact that I'm driving slow myself and rarely in a hurry, so there isn't a need to give the "move out my way you .........." treatment to anyone.
2. Same reason why I honk a lot lesser.
3. It gives me that extra second to dodge any potholes and speed-bumps. At my usual speed I hardly care about dodging any at all.
4. It gives me an extra moment to gaze at a PYT on the road without risking an accident.
5. I can listen to even "soft" songs on my i-pod while riding my bike. That's partly due to the smoother engine. And at my usual speeds, the engine sound as well that of the air rushing past makes it difficult to listen to any music at all, even with noise-canceling earphones.
6. It's easier talk to anyone riding pillion for the same reason.
7. I shake less because of the chilling air. At 50kph you hardly feel any wind at all.
8. When a friend of your's is driving say a Splendor or Victor, which cannot go as fast as your bike, you need to slow down for him to catch up. But with my new found enthusiasm to drive slow, my "slower" friends can always keep up.
9. While cruising at 50-60kph and in the 4-5k rpm range, I know I still have at least 50% of the engine power in reserve waiting to be tapped on for a flyby.
10. AND The most important one- MORE MILEAGE! I know that extracting a decent mileage from a CBZ is like trying to find the holy grail. But I gladly take anything better than I normally get. So I'm up from the usual 35kmpl to almost 42-43kmpl. Not bad at all considering that for the Rs.300 worth of petrol that I put in at every re-fueling, I'm able to make an extra round-trip to my office which is about 25km from home.

And the disadvantages-

1. It takes me an extra 15 min. to reach office, so I have to start early, which means waking up 15 min. earlier as well. Now everyone knows how excruciating it is to sacrifice those precious last 15 min. of comforting sleep on chilly winter mornings.
2. This I miss a lot - revving the crap out of the engine.
3. Wow...i can hardly think of any other disadvantages...damn...
4. Ummmmmm... still thinking...
5. Okay okay...that's about it, I can't think of any more.

And here's another "observation", I can't decide if its an advantage or not. I'm still overtaking 9 out of 10 bikes/cars on the road. I guess it means there's scope to go even slower. Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... I'm not even sure how long I would be able to carry on all this. Maybe till my bike itself screams one day "Abe aeee...ab chaleaga bhi? Kab tak chalegi teri ye nautanki?"

But for the moment, I'm happy saving a few extra bucks.

A Good day.

It was mommy dear's birthday recently. I was in the city of (kill)joy so I couldn't be there with her to celebrate. But then I had to send her a gift somehow. Daddy dear suggested I arrange to send her flowers at least. Living in the age of the Internet and telecom revolution helped a lot this time!! So I managed to get the no. of a florist in Noida and called him up. After taking down the delivery address and other details, he asked me what kind of flowers I would like to send and what is my "budget". I was not exactly sure of my "budget" so I asked him what options do I have. He said he had bouquets ranging from 1000,2000 and so on. GULP!!! was the only thing I could do at that instance. But then I thought it would be a little embarrassing to tell him my budget now. So I said that would be a little too extravagant and I could do with something half that cost. "Hmm" said the florist and then finally said "OK, that's fine. I'll have the flowers delivered in 30 min.". Wow! That's faster than Pizza Hut, I thought. Then I asked him about the payment. He said I'll have to make an online transfer into some account number he gave me. Shishir helped me make the payment (I sincerely thank him for that) and Mommy dear got the flowers in the promised time. The flowers really surprised her, and very pleasantly too !! And I felt good... All this strangely reminded me of the Master Card ad

Flowers for Mom- 550 bucks, Birthday Card - 100 bucks, Sparkle Pen - 40 bucks, Courier charges - 160 bucks.

Smile on Mom's face - PRICELESS !!!

My affinity with the City of (Kill)Joy

Its been a long standing association. Not that I've enjoyed any of it but it has been there for so long that I can't ignore it. The problem starts with the fact that mommy dear has been born and brought up in and around the city (she's not a Bengali!). There were days I was dragged along to my grandparents' place every summer vacation. So while other kids looked forward to enjoying their vacations, I actually dreaded them. I absolutely hated the dirt, pollution, weather, crowd, local trains, and what not(I still do!!). The days mommy dear decided to take me along as she went for shopping in Bada Bazaar (or Sada Bazaar as I used to call it, for it really is one of the dirtiest places known to mankind, or me at least) are some of the worst days of my life. True, I liked places like Nehru Children's Museum, Science City, Alipore Zoo, Birla Planetarium and ride in a Metro (it was one of the few places having escalators back then!). But they could hardly make up for the discomfort I had to undergo to reach them. Imagine a 5 year old being crushed on all sides while holding his mommy's hands and trying to get on a local train. Man, that was agony at its worst.

Then I grew up and mommy dear began to realize it was no use trying to convince me to go to the City of Joy anymore. I got good support on this front from daddy dear as well who shares my detest for his "sasural". He has been to the place only twice in 25 years. Both times he has fallen prey to extreme humidity and pollution resulting in his usually subdued asthma to resurface and ruin the entire trip. So, mommy dear seemed to be the only one protesting as I refused to go along with her. So it had been a nice and quiet 5 years or so without a visit to Kolkata.

And then, I got this goddamned job in this goddamned company which has its corporate headquarters in this goddamned city. So began my trips again. And at alarmingly regular intervals!! As much as I wanted to stay a million miles away, I had to come back to the place again and again. I've visited the city more in the last one year than I had over the past 22 years. Thank goodness the company guest house is in Salt Lake which seems  like a nicer and quieter and less polluted place than the rest of Kolkata which is more or less a complete mess. Here's more...until yesterday I was under the impression that my office was about 15 km. from the guest house because it always took almost an hour  to reach there no matter what the mode of transport was. But that was before today when I glanced on the meter in the taxi as  I was paying the driver after reaching office. And boy was I amazed...it read 7.0 km...I thought something must be wrong so I asked the driver. He conformed that the reading was indeed true. I guess you can imagine my shock as I'm used to reaching office in Delhi from home in Noida in about 35 min. during peak hours and its a good 25km. away. Need I say more??

The thing that keeps me going is the fact that I have a few friends who always spare some time to hang out and I don't really get bored after office and on weekends. I also have a lot of relatives here (remember its my "nanihal") so I can go to their place whenever I want have some good old daal chawal and alu gobhi...

Will continue narrating my other experiences in the city in the coming days. And by the way, I'm scheduled to be back to Noida this Sunday but I might just stay back for Haman's wedding on the 2nd of December. Hope to see you all then...

The mother of all K*PD's

Well, here I am in Kolkata spending a major part of Sweet November, all set to miss mommy dear's birthday and a few weddings, feeling really low, eating some trashy and lot of junk food, the worst part being, I don't even know what exactly I am here for !!! At least I have family and a few friends here so not feeling as bored as I initially thought I would.

So, last evening I called up good friend Nihit and we decided to meet up, the meeting place being Salt Lake City Center as its close to both our offices. We discussed about how our movie collections had soared phenomenally in the past few months, how Nihit felt lonely in Kolkata as most of boys had moved to Delhi, about the lack of quality chics in our offices. There also was this girl who looked like Manchester from behind, but a side profile confirmed she wasn't really her. Although Nihit told me that recent updates on her suggest that she's become a "heroine". Then feeling really hungry, we went to this Food Court, had some good Chinese food, chatted for a while and then returned to the parking lot after taking a paan. Just as we reached there, we saw 2 bikes with familiar looking reg. numbers standing side by side, one being silver Unicorn and other a blue Fiero. The Unicorn had Delhi no. and the Fiero had Kolkata no. Our first thought was that the Unicorn belonged to a junior, either JD or Viggy. But then, Viggy rode a blue one and what would either of them bring their bike in Kolkata for anyway. So we set our minds on the Fiero. Nihit suggested it might be Addy's bike. Then I remembered Addy actually had brought his bike from home during the final year, and it really was a blue Fiero with a Kolkata no. Nihit happened to have Addy's no. in his phonebook so he dialed it to just confirm. But Addy's cell was switched off.

In the mean time, a group came to the parking lot and they were standing right beside us discussing something and laughing and cracking jokes. Nihit and I continued to discuss possibilities about who the bike owner might be and I sat on the bike to rest my butt. All this continued for a while. Then a burly woman from the group came right up to us and pointed towards the bike. I thought she was looking for some other bike but then she pointed to the Fiero again as if saying "haan na re bhau...yahi hai...ab uthega ki dun ek ulte haath ka". And going by her looks, I knew she meant exactly that. She was almost as tall as me, weighed at least 25-30 kgs more and looked like a biker gang stud minus the leather jacket and sunglasses.

As Nihit and I stood there in stunned silence (the K*PD moment !!!), the stud rode away on the bike with 2 more studs riding pillion. And boy it was laugh riot after that...we didn't know what to say after that. Just a few co-incidences to fuel our imaginations maybe. But it was good fun in the end...nice food...remembering old times...a few nice chics around...and the grand finale...the K*PD !!!

(We even thought of putting our visting cards in the bike's visor so that whenever the bike owner came back, he could contact us. But we didn't have our cards with us at that time. So i had another idea. Why not put one of our passport size pics, that would be even better. But sanity prevailed and restrained us from doing anything silly like that or we would have had a lot of explaining to do to the STUDDD !!!)

The list I've been waiting for so long to compile....

  People compile lists of all time best movies, songs, guitar solos, music videos, cricket innings etc etc. I decided to compile a list of my own as well. Its about something I've been almost obsessed with since we first got a proper internet connection on our own computers (around BE 3rd yr). Its about CHICS !!! Yes, about movie stars, models, sportspersons, musicians who happen to be female, and of course, dazzlingly beautiful...so here goes...not in any particular order...

1. Jennifer Hawkins - Donald Trump once famously termed this "thunder from down under" as "the most beautiful Miss Universe I have seen in many, many years". I conform.
2. Kate Beckinsale - One lucky doode that Len Wiseman is. Being paid millions to direct Bruce Willis in Live Free or Die hard and also getting to go back home to one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood is no mean achievement. I'm jealous !! 
3. Kelly Hu - She happens to be my first real Hollywood crush. The first and only film I liked her in was The Scorpion King, where in she decided to appear all wet and topless with just her beautiful long hair covering her assets. Damn that was hottt...and my love for her has remained undiminished ever since.                                                                                       
4. Elena Dementieva - People like Maria Sharapova or Anna Kournikova for how sexy they look on and off the tennis court. My choice happens to be another Russian tennis babe who might not be all sexy and hot like other two. Instead she really is a demure classical beauty, which is more of my type !!                                                                  
5. Megan Fox - It would be false to claim that I watched Transformers for the Autobot's. The truth is I watched it just for that scene where Miss Fox leans over on the hood of Shia LeBouf's car after it stalls in the middle of nowhere. Man that was absolutely irresistible. And I seriously cant wait to watch How to Lose Friends & Alienate People and exclusively that scene where she comes out of the swimming pool. This chic sure knows how catch a guy's attention.
6. Adriana Lima - Absolutely Bewitching Eyes. She's another Victoria's Secret model. She's one of the top earning models in the world and indeed deserves to be so.Do I need to say more?
7. Abigail Clancy - She certainly tops my list of most beautiful EPL WAG's. Lucky doode, that Peter Crouch !!! And like many other ladies on the list, she possesses the killer eyes that can haunt your dreams forever.                                                      
8. Eva Green - Psycho must be quite ecstatic to see her on my list !!! And there's obviously no denying that her eyes are as enchanting as it could get. Wish we could have seen more of her as Bond girl. Imagine her coming out of the blue ocean in a red bikini...ahhhhhh......
9. Amber Heard - All The Boys Love Mandy Lane. And why wouldn't they? Ok Ok...I know she can't act any better than Katrina Kaif, but boy she looks a million bucks for sure. Truly one of THE sexiest chics on the list. I confess to having watched a couple of really crappy movies just because she was in them, namely Never Back Down and of course, Mandy Lane.
10. Ashley Judd - One of my all time favorites again. She has that kind of a warm and nice feeling where you want her to sit in front of you and you just keep looking at her all day long. Haven't seen her in a lot many movies and yet she still holds her own in my list.
11. Bar Rafaeli - All beautiful women in Hollywood seem to be dating or married already. Another lucky doode, that Leo DiCaprio. This Israeli supermodel seems to have it all - a beautiful face, a perfect body, bewitching eyes and a millionaire boyfriend who showers her with the goodies and doesn't believe in marriage.                                                
12. Elizabeth Banks - Another Hollywood beauty, who seems to have descended straight from the heavens. I first saw her in The 40 Year Old Virgin and had I been in Steve Carell's place, trust me I wouldn't have thought twice before jumping on her in that bathroom scene. And again, Ryan Reynolds made the same mistake by choosing Isla Fisher over her in Definitely, Maybe. Phew, what's wrong with these men??? I'm really looking forward to watching Zack and Miri.
13. Paz Vega - This Spanish hottie caught my attention in Spanglish. Although I hated the movie like all other annoying Adam Sandler movies, she cemented her place in my hall of fame with her delicious, warm looks, long dark hair, and that cute Spanish accent. Really loved her in 10 Items or Less.                                                                          
14. Heidi Klum - One of my all time favorites. She joins another Victoria's Secret hottie Adriana Lima on the list. Man, this Victoria, whoever she is, seems to have a real good eye just like me. Its a real pity that Heidi's married too, just like so many other hotties on the list. 
15. Diane Kruger - This German beauty with her goddess like looks has stayed on my mind ever since I watched her in Troy. That monotone pic of her remains one of my all time favorite wallies.                                                                            
16. Kristanna Loken - A hot chic like her can indeed "terminate" the rising machines with her killer looks. Do I need to say more??                                      
17. Liv Tyler - Ah...another one of my old flames. One of those girls who're not really "hot", yet as beautiful as you can possibly imagine. I confess to not having seen her in many movies - haven't even watched Armageddon to say the truth - but she manages to stay on my mind nevertheless. Really love that little girl like twinkle in her eyes.
18. Maggie Quigley - Being complimented by none other than Bruce Willis as being one of the most beautiful women around is no mean feat. And all that after beating the shit out of him in a movie. Plus, she happens to be the only Asian lady on the list. I'd rather Die Hard for this girl than Live Free.                                                                
19. Mila Kunis - She as close to perfection as I can imagine !!! Brown eyes, dark hair, perfect skin - seriously, who would really give a shit about Sarah Marshall if a girl as great as Mila is available.                                                                                  
20. Camilla Belle - Haven't seen her much of her really. When a Stranger Calls was real crap, but who cares, Camilla Belle was in it. She looks so innocent and vulnerable you want to rescue her and play cuddly-wuddly with her. I'm not sure if many of you would agree with me on this but that Vertical Horizon song "Everything You Want" from the Final Fantasy video has this girl character who looked a lot like Camilla. When I first watched this video, I thought there has to be a girl on whom the looks of this character are based. And for me, Camilla is the girl.
21. The Cruz Siblings - Monica & Penelope - This might come as a surprise to a lot of you, finding Penelope Cruz on my list. Trust me, I wasn't a fan of her either. Until of course she broke up with Tom Cruise. And ever since then, she has blossomed into this charming lady who seems to be getting even more beautiful with age. And that sister Monica of hers is no less a looker, trust me. Not many of you might be acquainted with her I guess. Try running a Google image search for her and you'll realize why she made it to this list.  
22. Sophie Marceau - Another Bond girl on the list. And a French one too. She is like this haunting beauty to me who seems so near yet so far. She has a mystifying effect, her eyes say more than words could ever say. Am I getting a bit too dramatic here? Maybe. But that's the effect she has on me.                                                                  
23. Zoey Deschanel - I know many of you would say Zoey who? And again I would recommend a Google image search. I watched some movie of her's on TV a long time back. Frankly I don't even remember the name of the movie, or who else was in it. But I couldn't get Zoey off my mind then. I don't even know what I really like about her. Maybe its those big round eyes that kept coming back to my mind even after I turned off the TV.

In conclusion, I'd like to dedicate the Franki Valli song "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" to all these pretty ladies who have managed to stay on my mind long enough to inspire me to do this post. And sorry if I missed some. I welcome all suggestions with an open heart !!! Plus soon enough I'll be doing a similar post on on Hindustani Ladies as well...so watch out...

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

It happens only in INDIA !!!

 

 

Recently me, mommy dear and daddy dear took a trip to Saharanpur to visit our relatives over the weekend. On the way, somewhere near Meerut, we passed this place called Khatoli. It was our average Indian small town bustling with bazaars and roadside chaat thelas and more rickshaws and cycles on the road than bikes or cars.

As daddy dear was wrestling his car through the traffic, I was just looking out the window when I noticed this sign board saying ZAHEER SWEETS. Well, nothing wrong with a Mithaiwala advertising his mithai ki dukaan, but take a closer look at the picture and you'll realize there isn't really a mithai ki dukaan under the board at all !! Instead its a desi, open road side shauchalaya !! Add to that a few chhole bhature vendors putting up right outside "ZAHEER SWEETS". Now imagine eating a plate of tasty chhole bhature with the aroma of piss lingering around your nose to make the taste of the chhole even..urgghhhh..!!!

I felt like laughing and puking at the same time. I was a few seconds late in clicking the picture and ZAHEER SWEETS got a little left behind. But then, I said to myself, this is the real charm of India. And I suppose this is how roadside chhole bhature is to be savored after all...

Why only TGIF...why not FDIM ??

Just another thought...only a thought...if there could be TGIF dedicated to Fridays(Thank God It's Friday, for those who don't know what it stands for)...why couldn't there be FDIM?

FDIM as in Fuck Doode Its Monday !!!

I guess guys our age are more terrified of Mondays than they are excited for Fridays. The idea of going back to that wormhole where every other person is out on a mission to crucify you really makes it hard to wake up on a Monday morning and haul your ass to office.
And anyway, i don't have even a half day on Saturdays, let alone an off day. So there isn't really a TGIF for me. But FDIM is a sure shot happening in my life starting every week...

CBZ Update

My beloved bike recently achieved the 30k milestone without any major glitches. I got the timing chain replaced once and so were the front shocks and rim after an accident. But that’s about the only major repair the bike underwent apart from some cosmetic ones like the front fairing and side panels. My bike has been running exceptionally well of late, the engine having become used to my riding mannerisms (red lining almost every time before up shifting, testing the top speed twice every day while crossing DND flyway, wheelie-ing and burning out when possible etc etc). The best part is that it’s held true to the original CBZ character with a rev-happy engine, super-cool engine growl and a sweet exhaust note. I don’t even mind the excess vibrations. In fact I hate the silky smooth Hondas and Hero Hondas and even the Pulsars lack the feel – vibrations, noise, sheer drama and exhilaration, the ability to make you feel like Valentino Rossi! The CBZ just doesn’t seem to fit in the boring Hero Honda family picture. The new CBZ Xtreme might, but is it even worth having the CBZ tag? Don’t think so. Apart from all that, I just love that ticking sound that comes from the muffler when you shut down the engine after having a good hard ride. And I’m pretty ok with the mileage I achieve after all the hard-revving. The thing I like best is that other bikes might go faster(including JK's P150), but the “feel” (I don’t know what else to call it!) is definitely the one thing that keeps the CBZ a firm favourite for me. I don’t even regret selling my RX-100 anymore.

A few new happenings on this front…

1. My bike’s been touching top speeds of 120kph since the last servicing. Now, I won’t really bet on the accuracy of the speedo readings, but my good friend JK who happens to ride a Pulsar 150 DTSI, says this might well be pretty close to the actual speed. His P150 can’t do any better than 100-105kph (again taking into confidence his speedo readings) and my CBZ beats his P150 hands down on the DND flyway, the tacho needle playing touch-and-go with the red line@9300rpm as the speedo nudges 120kph.

2. I used to have a very stiff riding stance earlier which I thought was good. I used to lean hard onto the handlebar and have a tight grip on the fuel tank with my legs. I thought that was sporty. But this stance actually hurt my back and wrists in the long run. Now I have consciously changed my stance to a more relaxed one with a straighter back and less pressure on the handlebar. And it’s been working wonders for me. No more pain in the back and wrists and much improved handling. I still clutch the fuel tank hard while braking though, coz it makes braking a lot easier and the bike more stable while decelerating.

3. As a result of this change in riding position, I have been able to achieve better cornering speeds as well. I now love to take the exit towards Noida Sector 18 on DND and also the exit towards Sarita Vihar on the Modi Mills Flyover faster than ever before, at times even touching 70kph while taking the “ρ” exit.


In short, as McDonald’s puts it, I’M LOVING IT!!!