Something to cheer about....finally....

Indian Senior Cricket Team after defeating Australia in the finals of the CB Series.



India U-19 Cricket Team after winning the World Cup.



Indian Hockey team after defeating Austria 7-3 in the Olympic qualifiers.

Congrats to the Indian Senior and U-19 cricket teams as well as the Hockey team for putting up some brave performances in recent days. You’ve really done us all proud and as I said, given us something to cheer about finally. The U-19 team should be specially applauded as they showed real spine in beating SA even when defending a meager total. Some real good players like Virat Kohli, Sourav Tiwary, Manish Pandey and Tanmay Srivastav came in the spotlight and might one day play for team India.

Last night I was watching TV and all the news channels had nothing to do but talk cricket. Some even had “experts” like Saba Karim and Nikhil Chopra to provide thoughtful insights on how these teams managed to achieve what they had. Others had Navjot Sidhu to entertain the audience with his witty “Sidhuisms” and brag about the team’s achievements down under.

Sometime in the midst of this program, a member from the audience raised his concern about the players’ performance dipping after they achieve some success initially and then go on a sponsorship deal signing spree. Our dear Navjot Sidhu had some good counter points to throw at the poor chap who finally gave up on his comment and agreed with Sidhu that this was not really the case. Excerpts from his expert comments…

Why is everyone so concerned about cricketers earning that extra bit of money from endorsements? Why do people think that their performances dip when they start doing these commercials? Come to think of it…an average commercial of say 30secs takes about 3-3.5 hours of shooting time. Now, if you watch these commercials 30 times a day, it doesn’t mean that these guys shoot for them 30 times. What’s wrong in taking out a few hours time on a break between tours and earn some money? And its not that these guys endorse 10 or 12 products. The maximum a player has is 5, and his name is Sachin Tendulkar and he just won India a tournament on Australian soil. So this argument that players don’t perform after they endorse products is completely groundless. Another case in sighting is MS Dhoni. Maybe you see him riding bikes one minute and selling hair gel the other, but there’s no denying the fact that he is today being regarded as one of the best captains in the world and the future of Indian cricket. He is soon enough going to take lead of the test team as well. So, a player’s performance doesn’t get affected at all. At the end of the day, he goes back to the nets to practice and gives his best on the field.

Point taken, Sherry Sir!!!

And for all you Sidhu (or rather Sidhuisms) fans out there…a collection of Sidhuisms for you… http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Navjot_Singh_Sidhu

Cricket is the game of glorious uncertainties! Glorious-when Sri Lankans play; Uncertain-when India play!!!

Kab karoge ye sab???

An advertisement for Aviva Life Insurance has been on air for quite some time now. There's this guy who keeps saying on each of his birthday, “I want to open my own bookshop”, “ I want have my own restaurant”, and so on... and his friend, who by the way happens to be none other than Sachin Tendulkar, asks him one such day… “Kab karoge ye sab? Jab cake pe 60 candles hongi?”

Now one day, I receive this courier at home, who gives me a small packet looking like a deck of cards. I try guessing what could be inside. As I open it, some visiting cards with my name on them pop out. And I became a restaurant owner, a bookstore proprietor, a fashion designer and a kid’s play school principal all at the same time. Just in my thoughts though. I added my mobile no. and email-id for added effect before putting up these cards for display. This really is a nice promotion campaign by Aviva...

Movie Quotes v.1.0 : Happiness is only real when shared...

Here’s collection of quotes from two movies I watched recently. Into The Wild and Lord of War. Both of these were real good ones and I thoroughly enjoyed watching them. The movies were provided free of cost courtesy IMT Ghaziabad’s local network. And the quotes I looked up on wikiquote and a few other sites. So here they go…

From Lord of War…

• They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
• Of all the weapons in the vast soviet arsenal nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the world’s most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that come vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure; no one was lining up to buy their cars.
• The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.
• The first time you sell a gun is a lot like the first time you have sex. You have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, but it is exciting and one way or another it’s over way too fast.
• There's no problem with living a double life, it is the triple and quadruple lives that get you in the end.
• You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war, especially with yourself.
• And here’s my personal favorite…
• Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.

From Into the Wild…

• I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.
• Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
• If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.
• The core of man's spirit comes from new experiences.
• Mr. Franz I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.
• And my favorite from this one...

Happiness is only real when shared.

I'll continue posting quotes like these from movies I watch in the future as well...and some from ones I've watched in the past...

An afterthought....

I'd like to add a little more to the previous post...

1. A little consideration for the pedestrians is certainly needed. Drivers have to be taught what a zebra crossing is. If you ask 100 Indians what those white lines are, chances are you’ll get an “I have no clue” response from at least 95 of them. No one seems to know what “stop-look-go” is and most people would run over a pedestrian trying to zebra cross the street and even hurtle a few abuses at him for no real fault of his. All that needs to stop.
2. A few massive bottlenecks across the city need to be looked at immediately. For e.g. the one at Kalindi Kunj, another one at the Modi Mill Flyover, and another at DND flyway exit towards Ashram. It happens to me everyday. I speed across the DND flyway until I reach that freaking exit only to screech to a grinding halt at the sight of that mother of all traffic jams. It’s really disheartening to waste 20 bucks just to end up wasting half an hour to get out of that mess.

Ok ok…I think I’ve cursed the traffic a lil too much now...time to take a chill pill…and so…I’m off on my bike to take in some cool n fresh night air…

WHY DO I RIDE FAST .....!!!!!

Why do I ride fast? Heck, ask them why do they drive slow? That’s what makes me crazy. What for do people pay taxes? Isn’t it for the government to make good roads so that you can reach office on time without getting stuck up in a traffic jam? People keep cuss about bad roads and poor traffic management in their city. But when the government does make good roads, people drive slow for some inane, incomprehensible reason. You know what, every morning I drive to office, I feel like taking out a T-90 tank and rolling over every vehicle that comes in my way. Nine out of ten times, it’s because of some a**hole deciding to drive well below the speed limit (which happens to be a pathetically, almost crawling, 50kmph) smack in the middle of the road, in neither his lane, nor mine.

I have these dreams. One day I’ll be the Surface Transport Minister of the country. First thing I’d do? Make people understand what those white dotted lines on the roads are meant for. Tell them life on the road would be much easier if they decide to drive in lanes some day in the near future. Indians have this weird tendency to create 4 lanes out of 2, 5 lanes out of 3 and so on. Try going to Noida via the Kalindi Kunj barrage sometime around 8pm on a weekday. You’ll understand exactly what I mean.

I have a few radical solutions in mind. These would of course be applied only when I take over the ministry sometime soon. If these ideas, by any chance, solve Delhi’s traffic woes, I’d try to take them to other states as well (metros in particular). So here I go…

1. Indians do not understand what lanes are meant for. I’d teach them the hard way. All lanes now would not be marked just by white paint, but by solid steel barriers. This would make people learn to drive in their own freaking lanes without hopping continuously from one to another as if they are playing a video game. But this cannot continue forever. The barriers would be removed from time to time to check if they actually have learnt lane-driving or not. If not, the barriers would be back in place. The finer details of putting up the barriers without causing any major trouble would of course be discussed before implementing the plan.
2. There would not be an upper speed limit anymore. Instead, there would be lower speed limits. For e.g. If you want to drive not slower than, say, 80kmph, take the right most lane. Any one found to be driving slower than their lane speed limit would of course be prosecuted.
3. I’ll collaborate with the I&B ministry to make a law that would make it mandatory for mobile phone buyers to purchase a hands-free kit. Mobile phone outlets would be given strict instructions to adhere to the law. It’s really annoying to see a driver riding along at a snail’s pace with his cell phone stuck on his ear and completely oblivious of the agony of the driver behind him and the honking going on.
4. Driving licenses will not be “sold” anymore, nor would they be distributed like laddu-peda in a langar. I got my driving license after giving a stringent driving test and I want all others to “earn” it the same way. I’d go to the extent of paying surprise visits to the RTO in the midst of these tests. Girls would not be given any special treatment because they seemingly are the biggest hazards to the safety of other drivers. Rarely do I see a lady driving in the proper lane, giving any indicators whatsoever and usually suffocating their car’s engines by driving slower than I can cycle.

I guess if the problem of illegal driving licenses is solved, to an extent all the other problems would take care of themselves.

5. Although I’d like to completely ban sub-150cc bikes (sub 20BHP bikes would be even better), but since they are good for the environment, easier on the pocket and allows one to move through the traffic faster than a car, I’d rather keep this decision under wraps. But seriously, if riders of 200cc Pulsars and Karizmas don’t dare to move faster than 60kmph, how can you expect someone riding a Splendor to move at 80kmph? Anyway, this problem is also somehow related to the first one. When everyone knows which lane they’re supposed to drive in, I guess there won’t be a need to ban the little creatures.
6. All auto-rickshaw drivers would literally be shot-at-sight if found driving in a lane not meant for them (read “fast moving lanes”). They are the biggest traffic chokers and a real nuisance on the road. It really kills me to see two auto wallahs battling it out for supremacy on the road, one moving at 30kmph and the other one trying hard to overtake him, although he’s moving no faster than 32kmph. This deadly overtaking maneuver might take a few eons and the process completely disrupts the traffic behind them leading to honks and high blood pressures and in my case, a fit of rage.
7. Bus-stops oh bus-stops. A Delhiite might give you a dumb look if you say this word in front of him. But it’s not his fault. There really are no bus stops in Delhi. All that the bus drivers do is slam the brakes as soon as they reach a certain point decided by the government, supposedly known as a bus stop. But I warn you, they would not mind giving any sort of an indication that they are about to stop which at times results in hapless cars and bikes crashing behind them and breaking their headlamps. I tell you, these bus drivers are completely immune to all the cursing these helpless drivers throw their way. Try Nehru Place to witness the true fury of the killer blue lines being unleashed. That place is a mess I tell you.

I am going to spend a major part of my budget upgrading the “bus-stops” and providing more space for them so that the buses don’t actually stop on the road.

That’s more than enough for now I guess… the 100cc bike riders would already be waiting to rip me apart for maligning their clan. I know these solutions seem a bit harsh, although I deem them necessary and someday will prove revolutionary. I certainly hope that I become the minister before the 2010 Commonwealth Games so that Delhi presents itself to the world as a truly world class city.

Suggestions and comments are most welcome of course ....