My Bucket List (Prologue)

‘Is it too early to be making such a wish list?’, i ask myself. Wasn’t Jack Nicholson a cancer patient in his seventies and about to die in 3 months when he decided to make his list in The Bucket List.Maybe. Maybe not. There are moments, usually before i go to sleep at night, when i lay down and think…I’ve lived a quarter of a century already, completed 2 degrees, worked for 2 years, made a lot of great friends along the way, gained a lot of weight, began a love-hate relationship with saddi Dilli, watched a ton of movies, started blogging, etc etc etc. But how many moments in my life do i actually wish i could live over again, places i wish i could be to once more, crazy things i wish i could do again? Three, four, five maybe. Is that it? Is that what my life’s been worth so far?

There’s obviously no point lamenting. I can’t change the past. But i can most certainly look forward to a brighter, or rather a more sprightly future. Starting today, i’ll be putting up a list of things i wish to do and places i wish to visit before the bucket eventually gets kicked from under my feet!

HEALTH Q & A SESSION

Everyone might have read this one somewhere sometime. I just  wanted to reiterate the importance of good health…

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.. don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride’

The (mis)adventures of my spectacles

Last week I had to spend almost 4000 bucks to get myself 2 new pairs of spectacles because I had just broken the 8th pair in my life. And this is the first time I got 2 at a time as I seem to have become prone to losing/breaking my spectacles with an alarming regularity of late. So I just want to have a backup pair ready in case another such mishap takes place in the future.

I know most of my friends, family, colleagues and fellow bloggers wear either spectacles or contact lenses. When I look at a group photo of mine, its usually the bespectacled who outnumber the not-so-spectacled ones. I wear specs. Both my parents use reading glasses. Listed fellow bloggers are all certified specs/lens wearers. So are most of the Shanky_PP and SPDSPD (a group of 6,details of which you can find on my Orkut communities page) members. I think its fair enough to say that we would in fact be incomplete without these extensions of our body form. Well, almost.

I've been wearing specs since I was 15 and this piece of blog is dedicated to the numerous specs I've worn over the years, and broken!

Eyeglasses used to be equated with learned and profound men. Over the years, eyeglasses have become more like fashion accessories and don't remain just a medium of visual correction. I, of course, can claim to be neither profound, nor fashionable. I wear eyeglasses for the simple reason that without them I cannot read a book from 3 feet. Yesterday, I had to spend the entire day without my specs as I made the painful mistake of leaving them at home when leaving for office. I cannot insist enough the alleviation I felt when I reached back home and put them atop my nose. Ah, the clarity of vision provided by this noble invention of a noble man is such a blessing for us, the "visually challenged". You know the first thing I treated myself with with my first paycheck? It was a pair of power-sunglasses! I had begged daddy dear to get me a pair of power-sunglasses a number of times earlier. But again, to him its just a piece of fashion accessory and not something that can protect your eyes in the strong sun and wind. And these very power-sunglasses saved me from a certain tragedy yesterday. I could drive back home only because of them. Although I did have to leave office a little early so that I could get back home before dark or I would have looked like a complete jerk wearing sunglasses in the late evening (almost night!).

I'd like to ask people about different ways they've managed to break/crack/pulverize/lose their eyeglasses. I'll list here a few of my own. So, here goes...

1. The easiest one probably - sit on them as lay quietly on the bed/chair/table etc.
2. Hide them safely and forget where you  hid them.
3. Vent your anger on them.
4. Make them fall from an unsafe height.
5. Ride your bike with them hanging by the collar/neck/V of your T-shirt, reach home and find them missing from the collar/neck/V of your T-shirt (this is how I lost my last one!).

Hope this would bring back some life to my blog after an extended hibernation!

I even found this bit of poetry while googling around...

An Ode to Spectacles - by William Cow

Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose-
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.

So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning;
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.

In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear,
And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find
That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.

Then holding the spectacles up to the court-
Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle
As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

Again, would your lordship a moment suppose?
(‘Tis a case that has happened, and may be again)
That the visage or countenance had not a nose;
Pray who would, or could, wear spectacles then?

On the whole it appears- and my argument shows,
With reasoning the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the nose was as plainly intended for them.

Then, shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),
He pleaded again on behalf of the Eyes;
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.

So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but-
That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight- Eyes should be shut.

The consequences of driving SLOWWW....

(I'm back to writing about something I like best - Driving!)

I say consequences because my reasoning might not actually make it clear in the end if it's good or bad to drive slow, although it's purely a matter of choice. And by slow, I mean slow by MY standards, considering that I usually drive in the 70-100kph speed range even in the city. So slow here means in the 50-60kph range, or putting it another way, in the 4-5k rpm range, the usual being 7-9k and redlining before every up-shift. But anyway, here's the reason I've been committing this "act" pretty consistently since about 2 weeks now. My new year's resolution this time has been to-quite unlike me-extract maximum fuel efficiency from  my bike. No, wait, please don't laugh, I'm serious. I know its very much NOT in line with my reputation of being an adrenaline junkie on the road. But these days of recession and the news of an upcoming trucker's strike and petrol pumps going dry has made my resolve even steelier. Apart from that, my bike's engine has been running-again quite unlike it-unusually smooth, thus making it harder for me get the ohhh so yummy vibrations when I rev the hell out of it! The performance hasn't been affected one bit though, so I'm happy anyway.

So let's start by listing out the the advantages-

1. My expletive-meter (while on the road) has gone down a few notches. This is obviously due to the fact that I'm driving slow myself and rarely in a hurry, so there isn't a need to give the "move out my way you .........." treatment to anyone.
2. Same reason why I honk a lot lesser.
3. It gives me that extra second to dodge any potholes and speed-bumps. At my usual speed I hardly care about dodging any at all.
4. It gives me an extra moment to gaze at a PYT on the road without risking an accident.
5. I can listen to even "soft" songs on my i-pod while riding my bike. That's partly due to the smoother engine. And at my usual speeds, the engine sound as well that of the air rushing past makes it difficult to listen to any music at all, even with noise-canceling earphones.
6. It's easier talk to anyone riding pillion for the same reason.
7. I shake less because of the chilling air. At 50kph you hardly feel any wind at all.
8. When a friend of your's is driving say a Splendor or Victor, which cannot go as fast as your bike, you need to slow down for him to catch up. But with my new found enthusiasm to drive slow, my "slower" friends can always keep up.
9. While cruising at 50-60kph and in the 4-5k rpm range, I know I still have at least 50% of the engine power in reserve waiting to be tapped on for a flyby.
10. AND The most important one- MORE MILEAGE! I know that extracting a decent mileage from a CBZ is like trying to find the holy grail. But I gladly take anything better than I normally get. So I'm up from the usual 35kmpl to almost 42-43kmpl. Not bad at all considering that for the Rs.300 worth of petrol that I put in at every re-fueling, I'm able to make an extra round-trip to my office which is about 25km from home.

And the disadvantages-

1. It takes me an extra 15 min. to reach office, so I have to start early, which means waking up 15 min. earlier as well. Now everyone knows how excruciating it is to sacrifice those precious last 15 min. of comforting sleep on chilly winter mornings.
2. This I miss a lot - revving the crap out of the engine.
3. Wow...i can hardly think of any other disadvantages...damn...
4. Ummmmmm... still thinking...
5. Okay okay...that's about it, I can't think of any more.

And here's another "observation", I can't decide if its an advantage or not. I'm still overtaking 9 out of 10 bikes/cars on the road. I guess it means there's scope to go even slower. Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... I'm not even sure how long I would be able to carry on all this. Maybe till my bike itself screams one day "Abe aeee...ab chaleaga bhi? Kab tak chalegi teri ye nautanki?"

But for the moment, I'm happy saving a few extra bucks.